A lady contacted me a long time ago for counsel on how to please her man. According to her, the husband is always displeased and unappreciative despite all she does to make him happy. She doesn't understand that there are critical things men desire in a woman besides beauty and sex.
Situations like this is not peculiar to this young lady. Many people even suffer worse cases. Every now and then, the burden of many wives is on new ways to please their husbands. Often, the commonest questions asked are;
- “How can I satisfy my husband emotionally?”
- “How can I attract my husband physically?”
more seriously, some ask;
- “How can I make my husband feel special?”
This has become huge stress on
women. No woman wants to lose a husband to another woman for the simple reason of dissatisfaction and discontentment.
In case you are a
victim of such a situation, your lucky day has come. This post will teach you
how to please your husband sexually, in words and even more than you bargained for.
HOW TO PLEASE YOUR HUSBAND WITH WORDS
You can never be
able to fully please a man until you understand men’s greatest need or desire
in life. Many women think that as long as they are in shape, pretty and
sexually powerful, a man is pleased. It is a huge mistake to think this way. He
can find women who are prettier and more romantic than you.
Even though men have high sexual desires and
are sight-driven, more than these, their greatest need is RESPECT. That is why
God emphatically commanded that women should respect their husbands. It gives
them a sense of significance and control.
In my many years of
experience, I have come to realize that a wife who pleases her husband in words
is likely to easily please him in every other area. Moreover, one way to build, restore and sustain intimacy in marriage is through positive
and kind words.
With these said, what
is the sweetest thing to say to your husband to make him happy? How can you
make your husband feel special with words?
Here are a few tips
below;
1. ALWAYS
GIVE A FEW DOSES OF WORD-PILLS EVERY DAY
I realize that one major reason for intimacy issues in a marriage is FAMILIARITY. When a wife becomes so used to her husband that she neglects some basic marriage protocols like positive words and affirmations the relationship is in danger.
For most women, the only time they say, “thank you my dearest love” is when they are gifted with something. But they never cease insulting and cussing when their needs are not met.
Many wives don’t even know how to send forth and receive in
their husbands from work. The man comes in after a long workday and they can’t
see that he needs sweet words and encouragement. Most women will instead, bring
up their own issues and needs. How insensitive. A man’s allegiance lies with a
woman who knows how to massage his ego. He likes it when you make him feel
important through verbal expression and gestures.
The worst thing a
woman can do to a man is making him feel less of himself and this is generally
in two ways;
- By using unappreciative or unkind words and
- By not saying anything at all making him feel he is doing nothing
To please a husband
with words and attract him physically, I suggest using the following statement:
1. In
The Morning Before He Goes For Work
- My love, Indeed you are a great husband and a real father. I admire your courage that you always wake up very early every day for work despite the inconveniences just so you can provide for the family. Seriously I and the kids deeply appreciate all you do. Not many husbands act this way.
- Hey sweet, I just want to say you are my ideal man. I really enjoyed the sex and sweet romance last night. Do come back home quickly. Don’t let me miss you too much.
2. In
The Evening When He’s Back From Work
- How was your day at the office today? You looked so famished when you came in. Is there anything you want me to do to help you relax and feel better? I could massage you, you know.
- Welcome my king. I miss you so much. Guess what? I made your favourite meal and I want to be the one to feed you tonight.
YOUR
WORDS IN ANGER AND TENSION
Solomon
in his teaching of wisdom in Proverbs 15:1 has this to say to especially
married folks, “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up
anger.”
How do you respond
to a husband who is angry over an issue? I understand that sometimes it could
be his fault yet he blames you and refuses to critically analyze the
situation. But what do you do in such a situation? I know It is easier to calm
down and not react when it is obvious you are the faulty one, but when you are
being blamed for what you are innocent about, it takes God’s grace not to pick
offence and respond harshly. This is why God wants us to always use soft words.
Soft or pleasant words are used amidst a heated atmosphere that suggests quarrels and anger to calm the tension and make the atmosphere safe and more comfortable for meaningful communication.
A
wise wife is the one who looks past the wrong accusations and uses soft words
instead. When the atmosphere is safe,
then she can seek to clarify things and make the man see reasons with her.
On the other hand,
if a man is shouted at through hard and unpleasant words, he feels
disrespected. This alone can stir up anger and wrath which could lead to things
like domestic abuse, malice, constant quarrels. By this time, you have already
lost the opportunity to satisfy your husband emotionally. The question of how a
woman can satisfy her husband would be absolutely unnecessary at this point.
HOW TO PLEASE YOUR HUSBAND IN BED
Another way to make
a husband feel special is by pleasing him in bed. A woman who knows how to please
her husband in the bedroom will always be valued, appreciated and respected. By
pleasing a husband in the bedroom, I mean pleasing him in bed sexually.
The first question
to ask before pleasing anybody is what actually pleases them and how do they
like to be pleased. In a similar vein, you have to be abreast with what makes
men happy sexually and how they like it done to them. This is the foundation
for how to attract your husband physically.
There are many
advantages of pleases a husband sexually. First, you will have a certain
influence on his life. A man who is sexually satisfied can do a lot of things
for a woman. Second, it reduces the possibility of infidelity. Third, it makes
him happy and satisfied and always eager to come home after work. This is just
to mention a few.
Below are few ways
to meet a husband sexual need in bed;
1. FIND
HIS SOFT SPOT
In my years of
escapades with different women before I became a Christian, I realize that one
mistake many women make is leaving sexual activities during sex to the man
alone. Somehow women nurse this funny idea that it is a man’s responsibility to
satisfy them whether he himself is satisfied or not. This is why many husbands
go home to satisfy their wives and go out to satisfy themselves with another woman.
To please your
husband in bed, the first step is to find his soft spot. By this, I mean,
knowing what really twinkle his fancy during lovemaking and this is done by
critical observation. Don’t be so
carried away that you forget to take note of details during sex. There are
places men like to be touched and things they enjoy when done to them during
sex.
Most men love when
you gently caress their nipples. For some, the way you romantically look into
their eyes help them enjoy sex better. Some need to hear that sweet, gentle
sound you make. While a lot of others like it when you give them blowjobs in
between sex. Whatever the case is, you have to observe a man’s reaction during lovemaking to be able to discern.
2. BE
NEAT
A certain woman
felt the husband disturbs her for sex a lot. As a way to scare him, she left
her vagina unwashed for days. At night when the man came, as usual, seeking sex,
she opened it wide and the odour that oozed out stunk to the point it
scared the man away and his libido melted instantly.
Many women may not
be intentional like this woman, but whether intentional or not, a man will not
always be willing to have sex with a dirty wife. To make matters worse, he may
not be able to muster enough courage to even tell the wife for fear of embarrassment. Sometimes he makes up another reason for not being happy
and the ignorant wife is there doing nothing.
Being unclean can
result in a lot of things like cheating, nagging, dissatisfaction, resentment
and despise.
3. SERVE
PEACE AND SEX WILL BE SWEET
You heard me right.
Serve peace before sex.
Many women ask,
“How can I satisfy my husband sexually?” I think this is not the right
question to ask. Instead, ask, “How can I satisfy my husband emotionally?” When
a husband is satisfied emotionally, he can easily be satisfied sexually. Much
more than sex, a man wants a woman who can give him peace of mind. It takes a
relaxed and peaceful heart to enjoy sex. You don’t quarrel and abuse him today
and makeup with sex tomorrow and expect him to be happy.
4. TAKE
INITIATIVE AT TIMES
It is true that men are self-starters. They are the ones who mostly initiate sex by making the move for it. But sometimes, a husband will appreciate it if you initiate sex. A man can be sexually aroused naturally, but they can also be aroused artificially and that is your responsibility.
To please your
husband, you have to also learn how to arouse his sexual desire. There are many
ways to do this. First ensure you have sexy and revealing clothes put on, then
walk up to him, sit on his lap and kiss him. Tell him how sexy and sweet he
looks and how you want to give it to him so hard. Kiss him, softly slick your
hands inside his pants and rob your breast on his face while romancing him
physically.
5. DO
IT DIRTY
A man’s ideal wife is a
reserved-in-public-but-naughty-in-bed kind of woman. As long as you are
married, God wants you to enjoy sex so feel free to do it naughty. In my post 6 types of sex your spouse deeply desires but won’t tell you, I enumerated the different types of sex couples are not
leveraging on. To please a man sexually, you may want to check it out.
To do sex dirty,
you have to know what a man’s fantasy is and try to help him achieve it. Does
he like it in the bathroom, kitchen or sitting room? Does he enjoy oral sex?
Does he like when you do the sexing sometimes? Does he like it hard or soft?
When it comes to sex, make sure there are no reservations. Ensure you help him
enjoy sex to the fullest.
6. FIND
HIS BEST SEX POSITION
Many wives want to
satisfy their husbands sexually but are not willing to pay the sacrifice. Sex
is a hard job and so demands some level of selflessness and sacrifice.
Every man has a sex position they prefer to others. Some don’t even cum until you are in that position. The common positions are doggy and missionary, legs on shoulder, reverse cowgirl etc. You probably know better than I do.
I agree some positions are very painful for the woman, but
whatever it is; you have to learn to find a way around it. It is better to take
the pain and satisfy a man than to lose him to another who is willing to take
the pain. One thing about sex position is that no matter how painful
penetration can be in that position, after a while, it will begin to ease up.
7. AFFIRM
HIM
A husband does not
joke with a wife who knows her way with words. One very good place to use words
of positive affirmations is during sex. A woman who appreciates her husband for
sexually satisfying her is likely to have enough of him. Yet this is one area
many wives miss. There is nothing to be ashamed about. Words like;
- “I feel so satisfied whenever you make love to me”
- “You are really great in bed”
- “Whenever you making love to me I always wish it never came to an end”
- “I would have missed a lot sexually if I wasn’t married to you.”
This way, you not
only satisfy him sexually but emotionally too.
8. MAKE
A NICE SEX TONE
What is your tone
during sex? Do you just shout like an animal or do you sound gentle, soft and
sexy? Your tone has a lot to communicate to a man during sex. Whether it is
painful or not or whether you are climaxing or not, you have to learn how to
make sexy tones while making love. Many men like this. They want to know that
they are making you enjoy sex and the only way to is through the sound you make
and the affirmations you give. Silence during sex annoys a man. It makes him
feel he is not man enough. A nice tone during lovemaking is one of the best
ways to please a man sexually.
9. EVALUATE
YOUR SEX LIVES TOGETHER
Isn’t it strange
that many people are not ashamed when having sex but are too ashamed to discuss
their sex lives? This is insane. Why would you marry someone you are ashamed of
in the first place? The success of a relationship such as marriage is built on
the solid rock of openness, honesty and trust.
As a woman, if you
must please your husband sexually you have to improve your sex life and that
begins with knowing what and what not to improve about sex. This is where sex
evaluation comes in. a woman should never be ashamed to ask questions like;
- What do you want me to begin doing to improve our sex life?
- Frankly tell, what about sex with me that you don’t like?
- What can I do to attract and arouse you physically?
- What do you enjoy most in sex?
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