3 Quick Things To Do When Communication Breaks In Marriage

 Things A Husband Should Never Say To His Wife

For many people, being a husband is as cheap as slipping a ring on that finger and saying I do. They rush into marriage without any prior knowledge of what the institution is all about. Unfortunately, when this happens, they begin to say things a husband should never say to his wife. They are uninformed, unaware and unschooled. 

While every husband is not this way, it is still advisable for a man to be aware of how his words impact his wife and the entire family.  

A woman is word-driven, not with negative ones, but with the positives. A man who has great verbal power will always keep his wife happy and satisfied. But when such a power is abused, a woman can be hurt, unhappy and dissatisfied.  It is only a matter of time, she will end up in the arm of another man who says the words she wants to hear.  

Mind what you say to a woman. The words in her heart last longer than the scars in her head. 

Below are 17 phrases a husband should not say to his wife. Should you know someone that may be using them, or a husband who says hurtful things like this, sit them down and have them read this post.

17 Things A Husband Should Never Say To His Wife

  1. You Make Me Unhappy

Even though this phrase can be used casually when your wife displeases you, it still is a poor choice of word. 

Women are very sensitive with words. They mostly read meanings into your words based on the manner you say them. If you look into her eyes, with anger and make that statement above, you have signed an eternal contract of unhappiness in your home. 

Instead of harsh words like this,  tell her you’re struggling to feel happiness in your life at the moment.  

2. You Can't Tell Me What To Do

In ancient times, marriage was like a master-slave relationship. The husband treated his wife as one of those other properties he owned. Virtually, every minor act of the wife was perceived as an insult and he could threaten her with a divorce at any time. She dared not tell him what to do or even as simple as make a suggestion.    

Unfortunately, even in contemporary times, many husbands are this way too. Often, in marriages these days, you see a man yelling at his wife, " you can't tell me what to do. You didn't marry me! I married you! "   

Such a statement is what you should not say to your wife, especially when she's pregnant or very emotional. When God designed the institution of marriage, the idea was that two are better than one. He didn't establish marriage to be an autocratic relationship but one that involves building mutual understanding and unity.   

Instead of saying this to her, let her know that you appreciate all her suggestions, but under this circumstance, you would like to make this decision alone. 

  

3. You Talk Too Much 

One very critical statement a reasonable and well-informed husband shouldn't say to his wives is this one.   

When you say this to a woman you kill her. You sniffle breath from her. It is like telling her, " I don't want you to embrace your very purpose and essence." You can say many hurtful things to a woman, but what hurts most is when you ask her to keep quiet. She will not because the female was wired to talk.   

Study shows that a woman can talk twenty thousand words in a day as opposed to seven thousand for men.    

Instead of being direct to your wife when you feel she talks too much, kindly request that you need some time alone to concentrate.    

4. I Didn't Know  We Would Be Married For This Long

This statement suggests that to you, the marriage was founded on the platform of trial and error. It means that you never intended to marry her in the first place.

 In fact, such a statement is a way of telling her your mind was never made up for the marriage and that you don't love her enough to spend a lifetime with her. It can also be interpreted to mean that you have married long enough and it's time for a divorce.

This is the reason any husband should never say to his wife.  

5. If You Truly  Love Me, You Would Do This For Me

 Any husband who says this to his wife does not love her. This is emotional blackmail and manipulation.

Marriage is not a ground for any kind of manipulation to get what you want. This statement is very wrong. It puts a heavy burden on a wife, making her go through unnecessary stress and discomfort in her attempt to try and satisfy her husband. A man who loves his wife will not allow her to go through this pain.

Don't say this to your spouse. Instead, appreciate all the efforts she has made to express her love for you in her own special way.

6. You Are Changing 

Making this statement just proved one thing: you are the one who has changed not her. 

You know, husbands often say this to their wives when they can't seem to get what they want or when wives react in an unusual way. But because a woman acts in a different manner than what she was known for does not mean she has changed. Something else could be the reason for that. It is a husband's duty to find out.

Understand the difference between evolving and changing. In a marriage,  a couple is supposed to evolve.  

Instead of telling your wife, that she's changing,  tell her for a fact what is troubling you in the marriage so that the marriage can evolve in a healthy manner. 

7. I'm Still In This Marriage Because Of  The Kids.”

In a way,  you have managed to forget that it was your combined effort with your wife that brought the kids in the first place. just you alone, couldn't have pulled it.

My question is: if you love your kids so much that you can stay in the marriage because of them, then you don't love them at all. You don't know what the hurt you are causing their mum does to them. Besides the depression and mental instability, they would grow to have a distorted idea about marriage.

Don't ever say this to your wife. You kill her internally and resurrect the beast in her. I bet you don't want that. 

  

8. JOHN'S Wife Allows Him To Do THIS.

No woman likes comparison. It makes them feel you are attracted to another woman.  No matter what happens in other people's marriages, don't bring it home and expect your wife to align, let alone say to her, " JOHN'S Wife Allows it."  This is one thing a husband should never say to his wife.    

If I should advise, I would say that a husband should rather suggest to his wife anything he wants to happen in his marriage.  

9. You Know This Is My Character. Why Did You Marry Me?

 

 

"You knew how I was when we first met" is a statement most husbands make to excuse themselves from the blame of a smelly character. No two perfect people ever enter the marriage covenant. Everyone goes into a marriage expecting to change for the better. If you say this to a wife, it means you are making up excuses to cover up for your Ill behaviour, instead of making efforts to adjust.   

Man up! And confront that behaviour your wife dislikes, instead of making such a terrible statement.  A husband should never say such a thing to his wife. 

  

10. What Have You Done?

Wives are incredibly gifted. Amongst other things, they are gifted in resilience. Study shows that a woman's brain has more compartments than their male counterpart. This reason is why she is good at multitasking.  

A woman can be doing multiple things at the same time and still maintains her cool. She could be cooking, washing, watching over the kids, mopping and doing the dishes. The least she expects is, " thank you my love. You really take care of the home, me and the kids," not a depressing statement like, " what have you done?" " You haven't done anything. I'm the one who works and puts food on the table." 

A man should not make such heartless statements to his wife. It feels so bad knowing that you are not appreciated for your hard work.    

11. Stop Bothering Me. I Will Never Go Counseling With You

Maybe you are not interested in some weird person teaching you ways to become a better husband, all in the name of a counsellor.  Isn't it the same thing you do to your wife? You won't listen to her either. 

Marriage is an institution of learning. It is a school where both the husband and the wife are students and teachers to each other. If you can't learn from your wife when she's teaching, she will suggest a counsellor because she wants things to work out.  

Refusing to go for counselling implies that you don’t even love your wife to start with. It also means that marriage is not a  high enough priority for you.

Marriage counselling is not about how wrong you all are; it’s about helping you both find what works.

12. Get out

This one is very obvious. A husband should never say this to his wife.    

A husband who says this to his wife is a verbal bully unless there is a genuine reason for saying it( fire outbreak, hazardous chemicals, snake attack, gunshot etc.)   

When you tell a woman to get out, you make her dumbfounded and incapable of being her true self. If she is too emotional and timid, you end up inflicting fear on her.    

Harsh words break communication in marriage. It punctures one's ability to build intimacy and friendship. On top of that, no woman will be willing to go out on dates or visit public places with such a bully.   

check out this:

3 Quick Things To Do When Communication Breaks In Marriage

 

13. No Body Is Perfect!

Of course, no one is perfect. Your wife knows that. But if the reason you say this is to always make excuses for your wack attitude, then you need to think twice.

Sometimes husbands say things like this to their wives in between apologies. That is egotistical. It shows that such an apology was never done sincerely.  

 Instead of saying something like this, you might want to say, " Honey, I'm sorry for my behaviour. I'm trying hard to become a better version of me." 

    

14. You All Are Mad In Your Family

You may be the most important human in her life right now. But that does not give you the right to insult her family. Don't forget that before you, she had her family and after you, she still has a family. 

 In as much as your wife loves you, saying these words may make her act defensive, making it seem as if she's choosing her family over you. But that's not the case. Your words only revealed the beast in her.  

15. You Are Just Like Your Mother

Another thing a husband should never say to his wife is this one.  

Please never compare your wife to another woman. Not even her mother.  

This statement is usually used in a negative context, so you are for a fact,  insulting not just her mother but her.   

16. You Think Like A Baby

How can you say this? Of course, she is your baby.

How can you say this to your wife? If you say this then it means you think like a baby as well because people of like mentality always attract. For you to date a baby, court her and married her, means you are one yourself.    

A husband should never say this to his wife. It makes her feel inferior. She will develop low self-esteem and withdraw from making suggestions and giving advice.  

17. It's Not A Big Deal

Hey man!  If she says it’s a big deal for her, then it's really an issue. Address it now or she will nag you out forever. 

Saying this implies that she is incapable of handling small matters, which makes her look like a dummy. 

Also, understand that sometimes it may really not be an issue. She probably just wants to involve you in it or seek your permission. It could also mean that she wants to make you feel like the man in charge, not because she can't handle the matter all by herself. 

 No man should ever say any of these things to his wife.        

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