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Wednesday, August 11, 2021

Learning How To Love Yourself With Confidence For Self-Happiness

 The most powerful adventure in life is knowing how to love yourself. The quality of your life and the things happening around you is directly or indirectly related to the quality of self-love you have. Self-love cuts across your relationships with others and determines how you get along with those around you. This is why it is an error to learn how to love yourself in a relationship. Learning how to love yourself when you don’t know how to is something you must strive for before entering a relationship.

Many marriages, relationships, and families have been ripped apart resulting from people’s inability to love themselves first. They lack love and seek to love others. How can you give what you don’t have? Some people because they don’t love themselves, they go into a relationship seeking others to make complete their deficiency. Relationships will never survive this way. A good reason everyone must first pursue a state of self-love.

learning how to love yourself

Here are a few ways to love yourself mentally and spiritually so you can enjoy a lasting relationship.

Below is the scope of this article.

  1. Learning how to love yourself
  2. How to love yourself mentally
  3. How to love yourself spiritually
  4. How to love yourself in a relationship
  5. Tips on how to love yourself.


Jesus is the originator of self-love. In Matthew chapter 22, some group of Pharisees accosted Him with a question seeking to know what the greatest commandment was. His response was that they should love the Lord their God with all their heart, their soul, and their mind. He then went further to tell them that the second commandment which is as equally important as the first one was that they should love their neighbors in the same degree or measure they love themselves.

From Jesus’ response, we can conclude that you can’t fully love others until you love yourself and you can’t fully love yourself until you love God. It is after your love relationship with God is established that your love relationship with others can start. It is in God that we draw the ability to love others.

How then do we love God? By keeping His commandment and doing as he pleases. For instance, God’s commandment will never ask you to hate people, cheat people, mock people and laugh at their flaws. As you spend time with God’s word, it won’t be long before you start thinking and acting like Him. And because He is love, you will begin to change into a person of love.

Here are a few ways to start loving yourself after spending time with God and his words.

1. Self-value: if you love yourself, you value yourself. You don’t allow things like alcohol, smoking, fornication, and other irrelevant things to ruin your life. No one handles a valuable jewel carelessly. Similarly, if you love yourself, you value yourself and protect yourself from things that are hazardous. 

2. Self-aloneness: another way to learn to love yourself and be happy is to begin to feel happy all by yourself without needing any company. Hating being alone all in your own world sometimes is a sign of self-hatred. You are not your own best friend.

3. Self-esteem: If you love yourself, you develop high self-esteem. Self-esteem means you begin to estimate yourself to a height that nonentities can’t reach.  You begin to aim high in life because you are now thinking highly of yourself.

4. Self-dating:  This is another way to learn to love yourself and be confident. Take yourself on a date and shop for yourself. Visit places all by yourself. You don't always have to date people all the time. Sometimes, take out time to date yourself. 

5. Self-awareness: One way to start to love yourself is to begin learning yourself. You don’t know the many potentials and great qualities you possess which you’ll begin to appreciate until you are aware of them. God has placed something in everyone that will make us love ourselves. Some people are footballers, some are teachers, some are leaders, some are great actors, and many more. When you discover some of these abilities, you begin to love and appreciate yourself more.

6. Self-opinionated: Are you such a person that people can easily influence? Then it is a sign of low self-esteem. You don’t respect and value your own opinion.



One of the ways to love yourself is by enlarging your mental capabilities. Here are a few ways to achieve this. Below are some of the ways to achieve this.

1. Read a lot: Discover your purpose and begin to read books related to it. God has given everyone a purpose, i.e a reason for living to serve others. If inanimate creatures like air, stones, water have a purpose, how much more do you. If you don’t discover yours, then you don’t have a reason for living.

2. Challenge yourself: Challenging yourself is another way to love yourself. Give yourself a weekly, monthly, or yearly goal and work towards reaching it. For me, I decided I was going to write at least three books per year.

3. Be logical: Don’t make a rash decision or think less of situations. Take your time to evaluate things critically before making a decision. For instance, if you were asked to invest in something, don’t rush into it. Money once lost is hard to come back. Instead, gather facts, ask questions and think through it.

4. Think Positive of Yourself: Self-hatred destroys sound mind. If you want to become mentally buoyant, think positively of yourself. Look yourself in the mirror and appreciate yourself and your natural abilities.

5. Keep company with those who are mentally stable: To love yourself mentally, you have to mind the companies you keep. Don’t hang around people who want every other person to validate them but them. Such people, when there is no one to love them, keep them company and make them happy, get sad and become unstable in their mentality. They become drain mentally and then look for vulnerable people to fall with.



Spiritual self-love is the most powerful self-love after all man is spirit, not a body.

Spirits don’t wear clothes; they don’t eat physical food and can’t relate to the physical world. The only way to love yourself spiritually is to feed your spirit with spiritual food to help him grow. 

How then do you feed your spirit? You feed your spirit by;

1. Studying God’s word: God’s word is the only worthy meal for your spirit. The more you study it, the more faith you accumulate against evil days. I love the way I’m growing in spirit myself. There is no challenge I have not been able to handle now, unlike before.

2. Pray a lot: while physical exercise profits the body, prayer profits the spirit. The more you pray, the more you engage your spirit in the unseen battles of your life. In fact, you will begin to love your spirit when you begin to see that mountains are moved just at your command.

3. Attend church services: The only place where they teach you God’s word completely for your grasp is in the church. If you really want to know how to love yourself spiritually, you must be a church person. Moreover, you can hang around church friends who can inspire you and help you grow spiritually.

4. Get a pastoral mentor: Find a particular spiritual father you are accountable to. Let him lead you and show you how to grow spiritually.



After you must have learned how to love yourself mentally, spiritually, and emotionally, then you can now successfully lead a relationship. For every relationship to stand the test of time, you must learn how to love yourself in a relationship.

Here are a few ways to do that:

1.  Space out: Don't always bug your partner even if you are married. This advice goes to especially women who love too much attention. It is healthy to be alone sometimes and enjoy your own aloneness. 

2. Be responsible for yourself: Don't always wait until your partner takes you out or buys something for you, or affirms you before you feel loved. Be responsible for yourself. Instead of nagging about how you want to be loved or treated, teach your partner by treating yourself that way first. 

3. Keep fit/All-around care:  Exercise to keep your body in shape, eat healthy meals and look good all the time.

4. Flaunt responsibly: Don't dress immodestly or in an irritable manner. Learn to dress smart and responsibly.

5. Be honest: If you love yourself, you won't lie to yourself. Always be true to yourself and evaluate your actions without bias. If there is anywhere you are missing it, then adjust accordingly. One difference between Healthy and unhealthy relationships is honest.



The following tips will help with loving yourself.

  1. Build a solid relationship with God
  2. Be real to yourself
  3. Think positively of yourself
  4. Have a winners' mindset
  5. Eat healthily and exercise regularly
  6. Affirm yourself all the time
  7. Go on personal dates
  8. Buy things for yourself
  9. Allow your happiness and sense of fulfillment to be internally generated
  10. Learn to forgive yourself
  11. Forget about your past mistakes
  12. Discover your purpose for life


The most important advice on how to love yourself I would give is to love God first. Everything would make absolutely no meaning in life without a relationship of love with God. There are many instances where wealthy people who had no love relationship with God committed suicide because even with their affluence, life was incomplete. Suicide without dispute is a sign of self-hatred. Only in God can we find true love and happiness to start with loving ourselves.



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