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Monday, July 5, 2021

Healthy & Unhealthy Relationship:Signs,How To Leave,How To Build A Healthy One

First, let me start by saying that healthy and unhealthy relationships are realities of life. That you have experienced one of them, does not imply the other does not exist.

The question of if a relationship will be healthy or unhealthy is predicated on whether the people involved enter into it with the right knowledge and proper orientation.

From personal experience, I can tell that the root cause of any abusive or unhealthy relationship is a lack of self-exposure to the right kind of information.

In case you are in something that seems to you as the perfect type of relationship of your dreams, I can bet that you probably don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into. Relationships entail more than what you can imagine. 

You may want to stick to the end so you can learn all there is to build and keep a healthy relationship with all sense of confidence. 

healthy and unhealthy relationships

Below are the outlines for this article.

  1.  What is healthy and unhealthy relationship?
  2. Healthy and unhealthy relationship signs
  3. What causes unhealthy relationship
  4. Effects of unhealthy relationship
  5. How to fix an unhealthy relationship


 Let’s dive right in….



Healthy Relationship 

A healthy relationship is a relationship that lacks any form emotional, physical, and psychological abuse because the partners involved have mastered the art of relationship management by their understanding of what relationship is all about.

A healthy relationship does not in any way mean that there won’t be disagreements, personal differences, and occasional tensions. This would mean a perfect relationship. There are no perfect relationships.

 It doesn’t also mean that the couple involved is immune to act in an abusive way. It rather means that they understand each other enough not to push anyone to act insanely. 

 Unhealthy Relationship

An unhealthy relationship is the direct opposite of the healthy one. It is a toxic type of relationship where one's emotional and physical state is constantly being abused leading to mental and psychological derangement, isolation, depression, and even, death if care is not taken.

Dr. Myles Munroe quoted, “when the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable.”

The lack of knowledge of what love truly is, poor emotional management and a lack of understanding of individual differences can be some of the underlying causes of an unhealthy relationship.






Healthy Relationship Signs


Some of the signs of a healthy relationship are:


  1. Peace of mind
  2. Godliness
  3. Constant affirmation
  4. Happiness
  5. Jokes and laughter
  6. Communication
  7. High resilience
  8. Understanding
  9. Easy forgiveness
  10. Tolerance
  11. Giving gifts
  12. Openness
  13. Mild disagreement



     Unhealthy Relationship Signs


Some of the signs of a healthy relationship are:


  1. Fear and anxiety
  2. Isolation
  3. Unhappiness
  4. Lack of peace
  5. Constant physical and verbal abuse
  6. Pretense
  7. Lack of affirmation
  8. Lack of communication
  9. Meanness
  10. Poor resilience
  11. Grave misunderstanding
  12. Grave disagreement
  13. Unforgiveness
  14. Intolerance



There are many reasons for unhealthy relationships.

Some of the major causes are:

1. Poor knowledge: Any successful relationship must begin with two people who must first strive to know each other properly. For instance, there are key things a man wants in a woman as well as key things a woman admires in a man.  Prospective couples who eschew things like this are calling for an unhealthy, violent relationship.

2. Over-dependence: unhealthy relationships can arise when you are overly dependent on your partner. Exceptionally dependent people rely on their partners to derive self-satisfaction. They are afraid of being alone; as a result, want their partner to always be around. But when this is not a reality, they feel insecure and begin to stress out there partner. When the stress becomes unbearable, their partner gets violent just to dispose of the relationship.


3. Distrust: when there is constant dishonesty, a healthy relationship can turn into a toxic relationship. Some people in a relationship always tell lies that inadvertently hurt the other person. When such hurt, disappointment, and heartbreak become intolerable, the relationship can become violent.


4. Substance abuse: Most people who have never been abusive to their partner get abusive when they get intoxicated by hard drugs. They begin to exercise controlling behavior of dictatorial and authoritative root.


5. Looking for excuses: Most people who are not mature enough, sometimes forcefully want out of the relationship by not being open but implying it by how they begin to treat their partner.  Such people never open up about their need for a break-up. Instead, they begin to emotionally neglect a partner and in most cases become physically abusive and worst of it is, they begin a new relationship and rub it on their partner’s face.




Abusive, unhealthy, or toxic relationships can have some scars or negative effects that may never go away.

Some common effects or consequences of this type of relationship are:

1, It Affects One's Mental Health: Your mentality which determines how sound you are in your mind and sense of reasoning can be shattered by a bad relationship. When this happens, you think like a mad person. The things that used to matter to you don’t anymore.


2. It Leads To Suicidal Attempts: Because nothing else matters to you, you feel like taking your life.

3. It Leads To Withdrawal: If in case you survive suicide and begin to heal from the pain of such a bad relationship, you find it hard to enter into another one because you are too afraid to get hurt again. Withdrawal and isolation become your best option.

4. Transfer Of Aggression: After a while, anyone who was hurt in a past relationship tends to transfer aggression into a new one. This is why it is not advisable to enter into a relationship with an emotionally unstable person until he/she finds healing first.


The bedrock of every relationship is built on the wings of understanding. Understanding strives with effective communication and effective communication is born out of the willingness to listen attentively. 

unfortunately, listening is one of the hardest things to do, no wonder God warns against it. He said, " be swift to listen and slow to talk." An ancient Greek philosopher asserted, " the reason we have two ears and one mouth is so that we can listen twice as much as we speak."

The primary cause of all the problems in an unhealthy relationship is a misunderstanding. That is, the man and the woman talking and interpreting what they say to each other differently from what the speaker actually means. 

misunderstanding is the reason a couple who are in love are still having issues that have led to an unhealthy relationship. But if they can listen attentively to each other and decode what the person is trying to say without assumption, they can rebuild a healthy relationship.

On the other hand, when a partner is intentionally abusive and has become unreasonable, the best option is to leave the relationship.



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100 Questions MARRIED COUPLES Should & Should Never Ask Each Other

How To Build,Restore & Sustain Intimacy In A Relationship|All You Need To Know

10 Easy Ways To Avoid Heartbreaks In Relationship & Marriage


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