HOW TO DATE THE RIGHT WAY
Success is not about gathering a tone of information, but
gathering the right one. To be truly successful, fulfilled and happy you must
learn how to date the right way with
the right pieces of information.
Are you tired of relationship heartbreaks and dating
disappointments? Or have you gone on a first date, but was never considered for
a second one? Don’t blame the people; blame yourself. You might be the one at
fault here because there is a right way to date even the wrong people and still
get some results.
You have probably applied all the dating tips and advice littering
the internet yet with little or no result, but this is different.
What you are about to read
is not common. Many people after reading this have taken their dating
relationship to the next level and I have received many thanks and appreciation.
Below is an outline of the things covered in this article.
- How to date for marriage/Serious relationship
- How to date yourself
- What does it mean to date yourself?
- Tips to date yourself:
- How to date for the first time
- How to date a guy
- How to date a woman
- Tips for dating someone new
HOW TO DATE FOR MARRIAGE/SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP
There is how to date if
you want to be married. First, it starts by dating to find true love.
We cannot overstretch the fact that one of the deepest desires of
mankind is to love and be loved and share a marriage relationship with someone
of their dreams.
We are not also exaggerating if we say that dating
the right way is the key to the kind of marriage-made-in-heaven you
have always fantasized about.
Unfortunately, too many wrong ideologies about dating, flood the
internet space. As a result, people are struggling to date rightly while
some have given up and kissed dating goodbye.
Also, some, who are on the right path of dating, have had to
compromise or lower their standards all in a bid to find true love yet
couldn’t.
That is why, in this article, I covered the uncommon yet
very effective tips that will not only bring the right person your way
but also make you a proud, happy, and fulfilled person.
The key to moving from an uncommitted dating relationship to a
fully-fledge emotional relationship and finally marriage is what you are about
to read.
Let’s jump into it…..
1. Date Intentionally
In life, you will always attract those who strike the fancy of
your imagination and expectation. Your intention may end up becoming your
reality, so date with an intention.
What does it mean to date intentionally?
It means dating without careless abandon. It also connotes an understanding
of the advantages that one can derive from dating, as well as the pitfalls of
it, if not done rightly.
Intentional dating means dating with a plan and setting standards
and criteria that act as a blueprint of your journey. It means defining your set goals and your exit
criteria when the limit is crossed.
2. Have Realistic Expectations
Most people ended up with the worst person of their lives because
they never expected anything. They are too open to date anybody even when they
don't need a prophet to tell that's not the right person.
To date rightly, you must have clear expectations of who you want
to end up with based on your purpose, vision, and personal values.
You can't be a fun lover who likes traveling out for adventures
and end up with a pastor. Pastors don't always travel for adventures and fun.
Having a clear expectation of who you want, saves you all the
stress of having to date countless times in the endless search for Mr. or
Mrs. Right.
To have a clear expectation doesn’t mean expecting an angel from
heaven. Nobody is perfect so don't raise your standards too high.
Having a clear expectation is about having a working blueprint of
your dating adventures; a kind of guide and guard that keeps the wrong people
away from you.
How can one date the right way? doesn’t have to be a rocket
science if you begin by having a well-defined expectation with clarity.
There are a couple of expectations to set so that all your dates are matched against them such as purposeful living, moral values, future goals, religion and compatibility among others.
3. Prepare For The Prepared
In one of my posts, “What is dating? the real secret no one has told you” I noted that dating is a law of attraction. This means that
you are most likely going to attract someone your way to the level you have
prepared for that person yourself. It is a natural law that life always bounces
back to us what we give to it.
If you love drinking or smoking, you may likely end up with
a smoker or a drunk; If you are a fun-loving person, you may end up with
someone who loves fun. And it is because these are people who strike your
fancy. You can't cheat nature.
Whatever you focus on focuses on you and magnifies in your life.
If you focus on attracting negative-minded people by how negative you have
become, they'll definitely come your way.
You can, however, start modifying or making necessary adjustments
in your life so that the person God is bringing your way can fit into your
positive expectations perfectly, and the faster you do, the faster you begin to
attract them into your life.
One major lesson I learned about life is that until you grow up,
you can't get to the next level.
In a similar manner, until you adjust your character for the good,
you can’t attract the right people to yourself.
To know how to find true love when dating, you must know how to prepare yourself for true love.
4. Set Only Proper Standards
I have to say something crazy here!
There are two standards you can set; those you can compromise
and those you should never compromise.
You said Compromise? Why
should I compromise?
Well, learning how to date comes with a lot of responsibilities
and compromising is one of them.
Yeah, I said compromise. Even If I didn't, most people would still
compromise, especially in those areas they shouldn't and this happens when
emotion begins to take a grip on them.
Laying down your guards or standards in some areas is not
bad, what is bad is the choice of standards you chose to lower.
Standards like; not staying out later than 8pm, not having
dating appointments more than thrice a week can be lowered to an extent. They are
significantly inconsequential standards.
When you lower some of these non-critical standards, it gives
whoever you are dating the impression that you value them and find some level
of interests and concerns in the dating relationship without being so explicit.
However, standards like sexual celibacy, no kissing, religion, or
any other matter that has to do with purpose or values must never be
compromised. You must never compromise standards that secure and
protect your moral values. If you do, your date may never take you
seriously.
The easiest way to lose a date is to compromise the standards that
protect your moral virtues. No one wants to marry just beauty; everyone wants
to marry character first.
In case you are asking, what is the most important thing one must
know about dating? it is the need to protect your moral values.
5. Engage In Meaningful
Conversation And Portray A Positive Attitude
In my post, “what to say, how to say, when to say and how to act on a date” I revealed practical and easy ways to engage in
meaningful conversation.
Do you know you can actually tell on your first date if someone is
mature enough by how he or she acts and talks?
What most people don’t realize is that dating is not just a
meeting ground for discussions, fun, and having knowledge of each
other. Dating is a ground for investigation, believe it or not. It
is.
On a date, people's eyes and ears are wide open,
seeing and noting every one of your words and actions.
If you engage in a more mature, meaningful conversation, and act in a real and impressive manner, you just
might win yourself a life partner sooner than you expected.
HOW TO DATE YOURSELF
What Does It Mean To Date Yourself?
In our world today, everyone believes in the power of relationships. In churches, workplaces and almost everywhere, they hype how important it is to build relationships with people.
I’m not in dispute of this truth, but the way relationships get soured within the blink of an eye will be traced back to the fact that we have not really learned how to relate with ourselves first before extending it to others. People who don’t love, care for, buy a gift, and trip themselves, how can they do this to others when they enter a relationship?
To date yourself means to get in touch with yourself, value your
aloneness, trip yourself, love and care for your physical, mental and emotional
well being with or without a relationship.
Notice I said with or without a relationship. Even those in a
relationship need time to date themselves alone. Any mature spouse should
understand this.
Nobody can give what he doesn’t have. This is why people date or
get into a relationship but can’t give love, care and quality time because they
don’t have it.
Learning how to date yourself is the key to understanding how to date other people.
Tips To Dating Yourself
Below are a few tips on how to date yourself
- Thank God for the good things you like about yourself and strive to change the bad things about you.
- Receive God's love to your self first before striving to love others
- Learn how to find true love in yourself
- Practice staying alone sometimes, do your own thing and be happy
- Dance alone, watch movies alone and be happy
- Take just you on a date
- Buy gifts for yourself
- Be the first to wish yourself a happy birthday
- Always have special days you pray for yourself alone
- Write a letter of appreciation to yourself for all you have achieved
- Dress up and look good for yourself with or without a company.
- Stand in the front of the mirror and affirm yourself
- Take a trip and cruise alone
- Cook, clean up the house and wash and after which, appreciate your hard work
- Generate your own self-happiness, self-worth, and self-esteem
HOW TO DATE FOR THE FIRST TIME
Unlike many years ago, these days, youngsters especially those in their 20’s are eager to learn about dating.
Learning how to date in your
20’s I believe is the most appropriate time. However, must be done with
great care.
Dating for the first time implies you do not have any practical
know-how. You may have read all the books about dating but do not have any
experiential knowledge about it.
Dating for the first time starts with deciding the kind of dating
you are getting into. There are 3 types
of dating you shouldn’t venture into.
This post is about dating as a way to prepare for a long-lasting
and fulfilling marriage relationship.
The following tips will help you date properly for the first time.
- First impression matters so put your acts together
- Prepare a list of great first date questions
- Get a few topics to discuss on
- Keep things short. Don’t talk too much
- Carry along your own money bag
- Don’t make excessive and unrealistic demands
- Don’t expose too much about yourself
- Avoid those questions with a "yes or no" response to avoid boredom
- Wear a welcoming face
- Postpone the date if you are not in a good mood
- Feel free to smile and laugh
- Don’t pretend or act in a way that contradicts your true self.
- Keep your first date short
- Avoid calling or texting too much in order not to be perceived as desperate.
- Enjoy the moment with wisdom
HOW TO DATE GUY
If you want to successfully date a guy, there are two things you
must know.
- Men are logical and
- They are very observant
Understanding the logicality and observance of men will save you a lot. If you know these about men, you won’t date with pretense because they know when you do.
Many men will play along and make you think you are winning
and they are losing only to dump you after they finish using you. This is their
logical aspect.
Because of this logic, men think things through more than women because, unlike women, they hardly make emotional decisions.
Though a man may want to hang out with you because you are beautiful and fun-loving, he won't take things seriously if you are not genuine.
Amazingly, even a man with low moral values wants a woman of high moral standards. This is the observation side of them.
If you must date a guy, therefore, you should;
1. Understand their logical nature: When a
man says he needs time, don’t argue and expect him to make a rash decision. If
you do, he will turn back to blame you when things go wrong.
2. Understand their ego: men are
born this way. They are egocentric, so don’t burst their bubbles. A man would
appreciate it more if you allow him to make a mistake than fighting, nagging, quarreling
and forcing him to do as you please
3. Understand their emotion: men and
women both have emotions. The thing is, they express it differently. A man may
not say he loves you, but he does. He may not affirm you, but he brags about
you. Also, men cry. They feel the pain of a failed relationship, so treat them just as you want to be treated.
4. Don’t think he doesn’t know: A man
knows when you don’t love him, he knows you are demanding far too much, he
knows when you are squandering and he knows you are not a resourceful
person. He knows you are not domesticated and he knows you can’t keep a home. There
is absolutely no need to lie or pretend. He has long written you off.
HOW TO DATE A WOMAN
One of the greatest desires and deepest questions in the heart of
every woman is how to find true love.
Until you are ready to give her true love, you should not date her.
Maybe you want to learn how to start dating a girl for the first
time, this is the first thing you should know.
Most women would claim to be hard and logical, but no matter how
hard a woman is, you must understand that she is more of an emotional being
than logical. If you can deeply connect with her on an emotional level, you can
rule her world. Unfortunately, most men take advantage of this nature of theirs.
In case you are seeking how to date a woman, then apply these few
tips;
1. Understand when her emotion is taking a grip on her: She may be the first to call every morning, demand more of your
time and even send some nice text messages to you. Don’t perceive her as being cheap or
desperate. That’s just the way they are.
2. Don’t take advantage of her weakness: The greatest weakness of a
woman is her emotion. Learn to be frank and genuine with your affirmations.
Don’t deceive her because she can’t easily detect like men do.
3. Don’t say what you don’t mean: The
words you say to a woman last longer than scars in the head. “I love you” is
the most abused phrase in the universe. If you know you don’t mean it, please
don’t say it because she will cling to it, dream about it and begin to
fantasize about it. Only say what you mean and mean what you say.
4. Give your time and attention to her: If you can’t make out time for her, don’t date her. Women love
quality time.
TIPS FOR DATING SOMEONE NEW
If you strive to date someone new, then consider the following
tips because no one wants to marry just beauty. Everyone wants to marry
character first.
1. Honesty/integrity: Like they always say “honesty is the best policy.” It is a sign of maturity, respect and responsibility. Any relationship that will sail smoothly must be built on the platform of honesty and integrity. Honesty may be difficult, but the benefits are priceless. Dishonesty is the reason many relationships have ended badly.
2. Expect
anything: One of the primary resolutions you’d have to make when starting to
date is to have an open mind. You will meet all kinds of people—immoral, shameless,
disrespectful, heartbreakers and so on. It is only meaningful to anticipate
anything from someone you don’t know from Adam. When you do, you’ll sure be
ready to mitigate the “negatives” and explore the “positives.”
3. Kick
off Class: Considering financial and social status of a date is immature. If
you have begun dating, you should’ve been aware by now that there are so many
values you can derive from dating people. Social class and financial status are
only secondary.
4. Get
a take-home: There are people you may not consider for a second date or build
anything serious with. Find something good to learn from them. It may be
honesty, understanding, emotional intelligence, charisma, wisdom, boldness and
intelligence.
5. Don’t
be the boss: You may be a boss in your office, but on a date, you are not. Nobody likes a proud and arrogant fellow. If you try to be controlling and
authoritative, you’ll never settle, because no one will be willing to settle
with you.
7. Date with emotional strength: Acting freely doesn’t imply acting all emotional. This person may or may not strike your fancy. It doesn’t mean you should make your feelings obvious. You need to learn to control your emotions by acting unpredictably real.
8. Don’t
carry over: If you are still hurt by the wound of a past relationship, and you
know you are not in your right frame of mind, don’t go on a date. Carrying
along bad emotions may scare away good people. You may even return feeling more
hurt.
9. Reveal
gradually: It is tempting to mention everything about you to your date
especially when you have a lot of good accomplishments. But don’t do it. Reveal
things gradually and leave them in surprise and awe.
10. Be humorous: Dating is not a military service
so make it a platform of fun and laughter. Put together a list of great jokes
and practice before you leave.
11. Give unfeigned affirmations: Don’t fake your
affirmations by given compliments that do not befit a date. If there is no
positive side you can base your affirmation on, just keep quiet and talk about something else.
12. Don’t
act desperate: Desperation is one of the thieves of relationship opportunities.
The common ways people show desperation are through promiscuity, making huge demands,
asking for money, calling and texting too often, eager for a serious
relationship, etc. The only thing being desperate can offer is disappointment.
13. Ask
meaningful questions: There are 10 critical questions you should never skip on a firstdate. Check them out.
I hope you have learnt a thing or two on how to date?
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This is wisdom coach Louis. You always thrill me with your indepth knowledge. Thank you so much.
ReplyDeleteI love your take away quotes