at THE COACH TOUCH, we discovered that many ideologies about Dating, Relationship, Marriage, and Parenting revolving around the internet are unhealthy for consumption; a big reason many are perplexed and dissatisfied. THE COACH TOUCH WANTS TO TEACH YOU HOW TO DATE, BUILD A GREAT RELATIONSHIP AND MAKE A FANTASTIC MARRIAGE OUT OF IT, AND FINALLY, LEAD YOU THROUGH A SEAMLESS PARENTING JOURNEY AFTER MARRIAGE. This VISION is the rationale behind our FREE Coaching, Counseling, and Guest Speaking.

Monday, August 10, 2020

How To Date The Right Way If You Must Be Married



Success is not about gathering a tone of information, but gathering the right one. To be truly successful, fulfilled and happy you must learn how to date the right way with the right pieces of information.



Are you tired of relationship heartbreaks and dating disappointments? Or have you gone on a first date, but was never considered for a second one? Don’t blame the people; blame yourself. You might be the one at fault here because there is a right way to date even the wrong people and still get some results.


How to date


You have probably applied all the dating tips and advice littering the internet yet with little or no result, but this is different.


What you are about to read is not common. Many people after reading this have taken their dating relationship to the next level and I have received many thanks and appreciation.



Below is an outline of the things covered in this article.


  1. How to date for marriage/Serious relationship
  2. How to date yourself
  3. What does it mean to date yourself?
  4. Tips to date yourself:
  5. How to date for the first time
  6. How to date a guy
  7. How to date a woman
  8. Tips for dating someone new




There is how to date if you want to be married. First, it starts by dating to find true love.


We cannot overstretch the fact that one of the deepest desires of mankind is to love and be loved and share a marriage relationship with someone of their dreams.


 We are not also exaggerating if we say that dating the right way is the key to the kind of marriage-made-in-heaven you have always fantasized about. 


Unfortunately, too many wrong ideologies about dating, flood the internet space. As a result, people are struggling to date rightly while some have given up and kissed dating goodbye.


 Also, some, who are on the right path of dating, have had to compromise or lower their standards all in a bid to find true love yet couldn’t.



That is why, in this article, I covered the uncommon yet very effective tips that will not only bring the right person your way but also make you a proud, happy, and fulfilled person.



The key to moving from an uncommitted dating relationship to a fully-fledge emotional relationship and finally marriage is what you are about to read.



Let’s jump into it…..

 1. Date Intentionally

In life, you will always attract those who strike the fancy of your imagination and expectation. Your intention may end up becoming your reality, so date with an intention.


What does it mean to date intentionally?

It means dating without careless abandon. It also connotes an understanding of the advantages that one can derive from dating, as well as the pitfalls of it, if not done rightly.

Intentional dating means dating with a plan and setting standards and criteria that act as a blueprint of your journey.  It means defining your set goals and your exit criteria when the limit is crossed.

2. Have Realistic Expectations

Most people ended up with the worst person of their lives because they never expected anything. They are too open to date anybody even when they don't need a prophet to tell that's not the right person.


To date rightly, you must have clear expectations of who you want to end up with based on your purpose, vision, and personal values. 


You can't be a fun lover who likes traveling out for adventures and end up with a pastor. Pastors don't always travel for adventures and fun.


Having a clear expectation of who you want, saves you all the stress of having to date countless times in the endless search for Mr. or  Mrs. Right. 


To have a clear expectation doesn’t mean expecting an angel from heaven. Nobody is perfect so don't raise your standards too high. 


Having a clear expectation is about having a working blueprint of your dating adventures; a kind of guide and guard that keeps the wrong people away from you. 


How can one date the right way? doesn’t have to be a rocket science if you begin by having a well-defined expectation with clarity.


There are a couple of expectations to set so that all your dates are matched against them such as purposeful living, moral values, future goals, religion and compatibility among others.

 3. Prepare For The Prepared

In one of my posts, “What is dating? the real secret no one has told you” I noted that dating is a law of attraction. This means that you are most likely going to attract someone your way to the level you have prepared for that person yourself. It is a natural law that life always bounces back to us what we give to it. 


How to date

 If you love drinking or smoking, you may likely end up with a smoker or a drunk; If you are a fun-loving person, you may end up with someone who loves fun. And it is because these are people who strike your fancy. You can't cheat nature. 


Whatever you focus on focuses on you and magnifies in your life. If you focus on attracting negative-minded people by how negative you have become, they'll definitely come your way.


You can, however, start modifying or making necessary adjustments in your life so that the person God is bringing your way can fit into your positive expectations perfectly, and the faster you do, the faster you begin to attract them into your life.   


One major lesson I learned about life is that until you grow up, you can't get to the next level. 


In a similar manner, until you adjust your character for the good, you can’t attract the right people to yourself.


To know how to find true love when dating, you must know how to prepare yourself for true love

4. Set Only Proper Standards


I have to say something crazy here!

There are two standards you can set; those you can compromise and those you should never compromise. 


You said Compromise? Why should I compromise? 


Well, learning how to date comes with a lot of responsibilities and compromising is one of them.


Yeah, I said compromise. Even If I didn't, most people would still compromise, especially in those areas they shouldn't  and this happens when emotion begins to take a grip on them.


 Laying down your guards or standards in some areas is not bad, what is bad is the choice of standards you chose to lower.  


Standards like; not staying out later than 8pm, not having dating appointments more than thrice a week can be lowered to an extent. They are significantly inconsequential standards.


When you lower some of these non-critical standards, it gives whoever you are dating the impression that you value them and find some level of interests and concerns in the dating relationship without being so explicit.


However, standards like sexual celibacy, no kissing, religion, or any other matter that has to do with purpose or values must never be compromised. You must never compromise standards that secure and protect your moral values. If you do, your date may never take you seriously. 

The easiest way to lose a date is to compromise the standards that protect your moral virtues. No one wants to marry just beauty; everyone wants to marry character first. 


In case you are asking, what is the most important thing one must know about dating? it is the need to protect your moral values.


5. Engage In Meaningful Conversation And Portray A Positive Attitude

In my post, what to say, how to say, when to say and how to act on a date I revealed practical and easy ways to engage in meaningful conversation.  


Do you know you can actually tell on your first date if someone is mature enough by how he or she acts and talks?


What most people don’t realize is that dating is not just a meeting ground for discussions, fun, and having knowledge of each other.  Dating is a ground for investigation, believe it or not. It is.


On a date, people's  eyes and ears are wide open, seeing and noting every one of your words and actions. 


If you engage in a more mature, meaningful conversation, and act in a real and impressive manner, you just might win yourself a life partner sooner than you expected.



How to date

         What Does It Mean To Date Yourself?

In our world today, everyone believes in the power of relationships. In churches, workplaces and almost everywhere, they hype how important it is to build relationships with people.

 I’m not in dispute of this truth, but the way relationships get soured within the blink of an eye will be traced back to the fact that we have not really learned how to relate with ourselves first before extending it to others. People who don’t love, care for, buy a gift, and trip themselves, how can they do this to others when they enter a relationship?


To date yourself means to get in touch with yourself, value your aloneness, trip yourself, love and care for your physical, mental and emotional well being with or without a relationship.


Notice I said with or without a relationship. Even those in a relationship need time to date themselves alone. Any mature spouse should understand this.


Nobody can give what he doesn’t have. This is why people date or get into a relationship but can’t give love, care and quality time because they don’t have it.


Learning how to date yourself is the key to understanding how to date other people.

Tips To Dating Yourself

Below are a few tips on how to date yourself

  1. Thank God for the good things you like about yourself and strive to change the bad things about you.
  2. Receive God's love to your self first before striving to love others
  3. Learn how to find true love in yourself
  4. Practice staying alone sometimes, do your own thing and be happy
  5. Dance alone, watch movies alone and be happy
  6. Take just you on a date
  7. Buy gifts for yourself
  8. Be the first to wish yourself a happy birthday
  9. Always have special days you pray for yourself alone
  10. Write a letter of appreciation to yourself for all you have achieved
  11. Dress up and look good for yourself with or without a company.
  12. Stand in the front of the mirror and affirm yourself
  13. Take a trip and cruise alone
  14. Cook, clean up the house and wash and after which, appreciate your hard work
  15. Generate your own self-happiness, self-worth, and self-esteem



Unlike many years ago, these days, youngsters especially those in their 20’s are eager to learn about dating.

 Learning how to date in your 20’s I believe is the most appropriate time. However, must be done with great care.


Dating for the first time implies you do not have any practical know-how. You may have read all the books about dating but do not have any experiential knowledge about it.


Dating for the first time starts with deciding the kind of dating you are getting into. There are 3 types of dating you shouldn’t venture into.


This post is about dating as a way to prepare for a long-lasting and fulfilling marriage relationship.


The following tips will help you date properly for the first time.

  1. First impression matters so put your acts together
  2. Prepare a list of great first date questions
  3. Get a few topics to discuss on
  4. Keep things short. Don’t talk too much
  5. Carry along your own money bag
  6. Don’t make excessive and unrealistic demands
  7. Don’t expose too much about yourself
  8. Avoid those questions with a "yes or no" response to avoid boredom 
  9. Wear a welcoming face
  10. Postpone the date if you are not in a good mood
  11. Feel free to smile and laugh
  12. Don’t pretend or act in a way that contradicts your true self.
  13. Keep your first date short
  14. Avoid calling or texting too much in order not to be perceived as desperate. 
  15. Enjoy the moment with wisdom


If you want to successfully date a guy, there are two things you must know.

  •       Men are logical and
  •            They are very observant

Understanding the logicality and observance of men will save you a lot. If you know these about men, you won’t date with pretense because they know when you do. 

Many men will play along and make you think you are winning and they are losing only to dump you after they finish using you. This is their logical aspect. 

Because of this logic, men think things through more than women because, unlike women, they hardly make emotional decisions. 

 Though a man may want to hang out with you because you are beautiful and fun-loving, he won't take things seriously if you are not genuine. 

Amazingly, even a man with low moral values wants a woman of high moral standards. This is the observation side of them.

If you must date a guy, therefore, you should;

1. Understand their logical nature: When a man says he needs time, don’t argue and expect him to make a rash decision. If you do, he will turn back to blame you when things go wrong.

2. Understand their ego: men are born this way. They are egocentric, so don’t burst their bubbles. A man would appreciate it more if you allow him to make a mistake than fighting, nagging, quarreling and forcing him to do as you please

3. Understand their emotion: men and women both have emotions. The thing is, they express it differently. A man may not say he loves you, but he does. He may not affirm you, but he brags about you. Also, men cry. They feel the pain of a failed relationship, so treat them just as you want to be treated.

4. Don’t think he doesn’t know: A man knows when you don’t love him, he knows you are demanding far too much, he knows when you are squandering and he knows you are not a resourceful person. He knows you are not domesticated and he knows you can’t keep a home. There is absolutely no need to lie or pretend. He has long written you off.




One of the greatest desires and deepest questions in the heart of every woman is how to find true love. Until you are ready to give her true love, you should not date her.


Maybe you want to learn how to start dating a girl for the first time, this is the first thing you should know.


Most women would claim to be hard and logical, but no matter how hard a woman is, you must understand that she is more of an emotional being than logical. If you can deeply connect with her on an emotional level, you can rule her world. Unfortunately, most men take advantage of this nature of theirs.


In case you are seeking how to date a woman, then apply these few tips; 

1. Understand when her emotion is taking a grip on her: She may be the first to call every morning, demand more of your time and even send some nice text messages to you.  Don’t perceive her as being cheap or desperate. That’s just the way they are.

2. Don’t take advantage of her weakness:  The greatest weakness of a woman is her emotion. Learn to be frank and genuine with your affirmations. Don’t deceive her because she can’t easily detect like men do.

3. Don’t say what you don’t mean: The words you say to a woman last longer than scars in the head. “I love you” is the most abused phrase in the universe. If you know you don’t mean it, please don’t say it because she will cling to it, dream about it and begin to fantasize about it. Only say what you mean and mean what you say.

4. Give your time and attention to her: If you can’t make out time for her, don’t date her. Women love quality time.



How to date

If you strive to date someone new, then consider the following tips because no one wants to marry just beauty. Everyone wants to marry character first.

1. Honesty/integrity: Like they always say “honesty is the best policy.” It is a sign of maturity, respect and responsibility. Any relationship that will sail smoothly must be built on the platform of honesty and integrity. Honesty may be difficult, but the benefits are priceless. Dishonesty is the reason many relationships have ended badly.

2. Expect anything: One of the primary resolutions you’d have to make when starting to date is to have an open mind. You will meet all kinds of people—immoral, shameless, disrespectful, heartbreakers and so on. It is only meaningful to anticipate anything from someone you don’t know from Adam. When you do, you’ll sure be ready to mitigate the “negatives” and explore the “positives.”  

3. Kick off Class: Considering financial and social status of a date is immature. If you have begun dating, you should’ve been aware by now that there are so many values you can derive from dating people. Social class and financial status are only secondary.

4. Get a take-home: There are people you may not consider for a second date or build anything serious with. Find something good to learn from them. It may be honesty, understanding, emotional intelligence, charisma, wisdom, boldness and intelligence.

5. Don’t be the boss: You may be a boss in your office, but on a date, you are not. Nobody likes a proud and arrogant fellow. If you try to be controlling and authoritative, you’ll never settle, because no one will be willing to settle with you.

6. Act like long-term friends: There is no need to be shy. You have to summon enough courage to act so freely and friendly with each other. It may not be easy, but it sure can generate great ease and elation. It can increase excitement and destroy boredom, so enjoy the moment. This tip of dating someone new helps build friendship fast.

7. Date with emotional strength: Acting freely doesn’t imply acting all emotional. This person may or may not strike your fancy. It doesn’t mean you should make your feelings obvious. You need to learn to control your emotions by acting unpredictably real.

8. Don’t carry over: If you are still hurt by the wound of a past relationship, and you know you are not in your right frame of mind, don’t go on a date. Carrying along bad emotions may scare away good people. You may even return feeling more hurt.

9. Reveal gradually: It is tempting to mention everything about you to your date especially when you have a lot of good accomplishments. But don’t do it. Reveal things gradually and leave them in surprise and awe.

 10. Be humorous: Dating is not a military service so make it a platform of fun and laughter. Put together a list of great jokes and practice before you leave.

11. Give unfeigned affirmations:  Don’t fake your affirmations by given compliments that do not befit a date. If there is no positive side you can base your affirmation on, just keep quiet and talk about something else.

12. Don’t act desperate: Desperation is one of the thieves of relationship opportunities. The common ways people show desperation are through promiscuity, making huge demands, asking for money, calling and texting too often, eager for a serious relationship, etc. The only thing being desperate can offer is disappointment. 

13. Ask meaningful questions: There are 10 critical questions you should never skip on a firstdate. Check them out.

I hope you have learnt a thing or two on how to date?


1 comment:

  1. This is wisdom coach Louis. You always thrill me with your indepth knowledge. Thank you so much.
    I love your take away quotes