at THE COACH TOUCH, we discovered that many ideologies about Dating, Relationship, Marriage, and Parenting revolving around the internet are unhealthy for consumption; a big reason many are perplexed and dissatisfied. THE COACH TOUCH WANTS TO TEACH YOU HOW TO DATE, BUILD A GREAT RELATIONSHIP AND MAKE A FANTASTIC MARRIAGE OUT OF IT, AND FINALLY, LEAD YOU THROUGH A SEAMLESS PARENTING JOURNEY AFTER MARRIAGE. This VISION is the rationale behind our FREE Coaching, Counseling, and Guest Speaking.

Thursday, March 18, 2021

What to Say |How to Say |When to Say & How to Act on a Date:What to do on a date

 Have you ever wondered what to do on a date? Perhaps you’re going on a first date and you have many questions in your head and you're confused on how to process everything. 

I remember many years ago when I started learning how to date. Oftentimes, I would think of what to say but couldn’t say enough. Many times when I recalled what to say, I didn’t know how to say them, and even when I knew the things to say and how to say them, I didn’t know the right engaging moment or time to say them.  I struggled in all of these until I was educated.

what to do on a date

Also, when it came to how to act, I was a complete novice until I found that there is a way to act when you go out on a date that will deliver the most charm and triggers a great admiration.

Have you ever gone on a date and after which regretted it because of the dull moments and moody atmosphere you created? Don’t feel bad. It happens to everybody. Many have sucked at it many times until they learned.

This article is packed with deep, yet,  simple and quick insights on what to do on a date.


The question as to what to do on your first date and probably understanding the questions to ask on a first date and how to answer them as well cannot be answered without first answering the question" what kind of dating are you getting into?"

Every person has a certain expectations whether in terms of the actions or talking style put out by the other person. Therefore knowing how to act,  how to say, when to say and what to say are what everyone dating for the first time must strive to know.

I shared a post " what is dating? The truth no one has told you” where I disclose the different reasons why people date and more. You may also want to check out my article “3 dangerous types of 21st-century dating ruining many lives.”

For the most part, people date for fun, some for business purposes and others for relationship or marriage as an end goal. Whatever reason it is, you must first understand the 2 W’s ( What to say, When to say) and the 2 H’s ( How to say, How to act) of dating before you can go on a date with a great deal of confidence.


There are a whole lot of things you can say when you go out on a date which for the most part, depends on the type of dating relationship you are into. Start by learning the 10 critical questions you should never skip on a first date.

If you are dating for marriage which is where this post is focused, you might want to start discussing topics that have to do with individual backgrounds, values, religion, purpose, ambitions, goals and education.

Talking about all these and even more will give you a glimpse of how a person thinks, his values and his intelligent quotient. We know wise people by what they say.

Understand that at this point, you do not know if a person’s intentions align with yours. that is why you must channel your discussions in these directions if you must find out facts. If a person has different motives, you can easily find out by how quickly they keep deviating from proper conversational topics as those listed above. They'll rather be open to discuss romance, sex, virginity, sex positions, clubbing, partying and the likes. 

The moment you realize things like this, keep away from such people. They are not ready for any serious relationship or marriage. It is only logical that people whose intention is to date for fun alone will never want to discuss future expectations. They probably would take the whole day discussing things that are irrelevant, or even get you drunk until you are hypnotized and used. 


In dating, especially on the first date,  certain things are better left unsaid. Don't go into dating opening your mouth wide to vomit everything. No one has the right to know everything about you until you can trust them. It is therefore advisable to have certain sensitive discussions only as things begin to get serious. So, know when to say certain things and when not to.


It is also important to note that it is not everything you say in a relationship, whether marriage, dating or any kind. Matters that have no connection with long-term goals and may not affect your relationship in the future may not be discussed. For instance, it makes no sense telling your date how many abortions you've committed when you know your womb is still intact or saying you once had HIV when in fact, you've been healed.

When you revealed deep things like this especially at the beginning phase of your dating relationship, immature people who are judgmental and lack understanding will begin to define you by what you said. Be therefore sensitive and know what to say as you go on a date.


Men and women talk differently and this is because they understand differently and process information differently.

Women, due to their strong emotional orientation tend to be too forward and sparingly logical as opposed to men. Women generally talk softly but spill out great volume, while men, for the most part, talk less but sharply and authoritatively.

When you go out on a date, the right way to talk is to talk less like a man and gently like a woman. There is no need to be too authoritative and controlling like a man and too verbose like a woman. People generally don’t like such people.

Also, as a man, don’t make the mistake of being too forward even if your intentions are good. The woman may misunderstand you.  Most men, for instance, make the mistake of promising heaven and earth to a lady they're meeting for the first time. They say things like " wow, you are all I desire in a woman. You are so beautiful. I love you so much." No woman is going to take you seriously if you talk like this especially on a first date. Women are very sensitive and observant. They know who is serious and who is out to deceive them.

Two people who are dating for the first time must talk genuinely and don't have to be deceptive.

They should be able to show dissatisfaction when a date misbehaves even on the first date as the main purpose for dating is to truly know each other.

A quick example. On my second date with a certain lady, I pointed a part of her body she has been careless about. She felt ashamed initially but as time went on she appreciated my bluntness and changed in that area. That's what dating is. The ability to assist each other become a better version of themselves before they met you. And it doesn't matter if things work out or not.

  4. HOW TO ACT.

One thing I have come to notice about going on a date is that sometimes what to say and how to say it is not as important as how to act it. This is where many dating folks miss it. 

A lot of young girls and boys, teenagers, men and women alike experience daily disappointments whenever they go on a date because they act in a way that is antithetic to how people who have marriage in view should act.

People have substituted genuineness with pretense all in the endless attempt to impress their dates. When this is done, the overall essence of dating is compromised.

People dating, must have genuine willingness to be as open as possible and act their true self.

 Don't go out on a date expecting the man to open the car doors for you and when you get to the restaurant, you expect him to pull out the seat for you to seat, when in fact, you don't even have a bicycle or a good seat at home.

You may not know this, but Fake lifestyle is one of the first things that gets pointed out in ones character so don't be too comfortable if all you do is act differently from who you truly are.

Pretending to be who you are not is robbing yourself the opportunity to be who you should be, which probably is the actual set of characters the person you are dating truly desires.

As you go a date next time, try out all you've learned here today and thank me later. 


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