Teenagers, whether girls or boys are like power rangers. They want to rule their own world, control their own life and dominate in their own space. This is why raising teenagers is a pretty difficult task. However, like I would always say “There is a simple solution to every given complex problem”
Imagine your
bigmouth child presently responds to your inquiries with a dreary
"yes" or "no." Your teenage daughter will not go to the store
with you any longer. Try not to surrender.
In
this article, I will show you an easy way to raise teenagers so you don’t break
them and lose them forever. This
is one, amongst many “Parenting mistakes every parent should avoid.”
In this post, you’ll
learn;
1. General
tips for raising teenagers
1.1
how to parent a teenage girl
1.2
how to parent a teenage boy
2. Teenagers' relationship with their parents.
GENERAL TIPS FOR RAISING TEENAGERS
For both the teenage
boy and girl, a few considerations below are required to give you an
understanding of their make-up and thinking patterns as teenagers. It’s important
to know how things have evolved over time so you have a better grasp of what it means to parent a teenager.
1. Understand Society Deposit
As long as they
were babies, you were given exclusive control over their lives. At this stage,
they don’t go out. You make all the decisions for them. So they absolutely have
no relationship other than that which they've with mom and dad.
But when they grow to become teenagers, they want to control their lives and make their own
decisions. They now go out, make friends with the good, the bad, and the ugly. Their
mentality is partitioned at this stage. What they’ve always learned at home
that has been the basis for their belief is about to change. You are now at war
with society. A war to defeat the baggage society is now writing in the
slate of their minds.
How can you fight
this war?
By the power of friendship and effective communication.
In raising a teenager, the easiest way
to lose him to the damaging claws of society is by attempting to dominate
or force them against their will. Even if a “ will ” is obviously wrong, your job is to make them see reasons and not
to try to force them.
On the other hand,
if you can make them your friends, they’ll be willing to tell you everything including
the negative things that society is teaching them.
2. Raise
Your Self First
What a child would
display as a character In society is greatly determined by what he or she
learned at home from parents.
Your children are
the mirror by which people of the society understand the kind of home they come
from. If you want them to represent a good mirror that reflects the kind of person you are as a parent, you have to
be good yourself. You have to, first of all, raise yourself the right way before thinking of parenting teenagers.
"Your activities, significantly more than your words, are basic in assisting teenagers with receiving good and moral guidelines", says Elkind.
In the event that they have a
decent good example from almost immediately, they will be more averse to settle
on terrible choices in their defiant teenager years.
3. Allow
Them Some Breathing Space
Allowing youngsters
an opportunity to build up their own character, giving them more autonomy, is
vital for assisting them with setting up their own position on the planet. This
is a vital requirement in raising teenage daughters and sons. Just give them
some space and observe them from far.
4. Consider
Hormonal Metamorphoses
All
teenagers constantly face one thing, "the desire to live an
experimental life." Their sexual hormones are very much
active, their thoughts keep changing and they keep seeing, feeling, and hearing
all manner of unhealthy sayings. A teenage girl's body is now in shape with her
breast well developed and admired by the opposite sex. This can only mean one
thing—the drive to try out everything.
However, bringing
them in the know of these changes in their internal and external composition will
help them understand their body mechanism. Even more, they should learn decency, temperance, and high moral values to enable them to make informed decisions.
5. Allow
Children To Feel Remorseful
Having a positive outlook on yourself is sound. Yet, individuals should feel awful in event that they have harmed somebody or accomplished something incorrectly. Blame is a solid feeling.
In parenting teenagers, they should be able to know when they are at fault and learn to accept responsibility. Not being
remorseful is pride and pride like the bible says, goes before a fall.
6. Choose
Rules And Order Ahead Of Time
Regardless of whether you prohibit them from
driving for a week or a month, whether you ground them for a month, cut back on
their remittance, or Internet use - whatever disciplinary measures you deem fit, set it ahead of time. Assuming
the child says it isn't reasonable, you need to concede to what is reasonable
discipline. At that point, finish the outcomes.
Also, beware of inconsistency
when it comes to enforcing the rules. Any rule you are not consistent about
will never be obeyed to the fullest and this is where many parents miss it in
their journey of raising their teenage children.
7. Converse
With Them About Hazards
Regardless of
whether they do drugs, drive roughly, or involve in sexual practices, your children need
to realize the most terrible that could occur and how to avoid it. This can be achieved through effective communications.
One
of the commonest things teens abuse is social media. You might want to check
out: Social Media Addiction|Signs, Effects, Causes, Solution & Prevention.
When teenagers
build a solid relationship with their parents, they can almost tell them
anything without fear of being punished or judged.
8. Keep
The Entryway Open
Try not to
question, yet act intrigued. Offer a couple of goodies about your own day; get
some information about theirs. How was the show? How was the date? How was your
day? Another great line: "You may not want to discuss what happened at
this moment. I understand what that resembles. Be that as it may, in the event
that you want to discuss it later, you come to me," Elkind proposes.
9. Welcome
Their Companions For Supper
"It's the
familiar proverb; you get a greater number of holds on for nectar than vinegar.
In the event you emphatically stated, “you can't go out with those children, it
regularly can misfire - it simply expands the threat."
Let them feel free
to invite their companion once in a while. How else do you intend to know who
they hang around with if not this way?
This is a very
smart way of training or parenting teenagers. This way, you can observe their friends' attitude from afar and know the next course of
action to take or the most relevant advice to give.
HOW TO PARENT A TEENAGE SON
Raising a teenage
son is quite different from raising a teenage daughter. Whether it is mental
maturity, physical body differences, emotional maturity, and many more, the girl child develops and understands faster than the boy. So, in raising a
boy, you don’t have to do as much emotional work as you would a girl.
Being more logical
than emotional with a boy is the best approach to deploy in raising him. He
will understand and connect with you more.
here are a few things to do;
1. Try
Not To Disgrace Them
Men are people with
egos. It has always been there even as a teenage boy. When you deflate this ego
by disgracing him, he feels inferior in public and begins to dread your
presence with him in the public space. Sooner
or later, he won’t go out with you again. When the time arises, he’ll make up
an excuse just to stay at home or go somewhere else alone.
2. Tell Them They're Not Dumb, They're Simply Creating
In case you're parenting a teenager in this window, it's imperative to recall this focal point through which he is seeing the world. We should converse with our teenagers about the hormonal, cerebrum and actual changes which will be influencing their conduct and how they experience life.
It's freeing for them to know they're not
dumb, they're simply creating. It very well may be useful for them and us to be
reminded things will get simpler once they're in their 20s.
3. Remember
The Caring Names
Really baffling and
testing, we can break the pattern of disgracing our young men through basic
things like recollecting the force of utilizing pet names with him and calling
him adoring names and reminding him you love him fiercely regardless.
4. Make Your Home A Protected Spot For Companions
Let your home and
heart consistently open to their mates. It makes the children and their companions
realize your house is a protected spot. Allow your teenage sons to be encircled by acceptable people and family who
care about them and go about as "beacons" who manage them.
5. Marinate Them In Accounts Of Good Men
They should be
marinated in accounts of good men, as well, of men who've committed errors and
flopped openly, yet who've recuperated by assuming liability and been
responsible for their own behavior. We need something other than guardians to
raise young men to solid masculinity.
6. Love
Them As They Are
Love your boy as he
is, not for what you figure he ought to be.
You cannot
effectively raise a teenager by being too logical that you forget his need for
love. You need to understand his feelings and love him unconditionally. This
alone will strengthen his self-esteem rather than break it.
HOW TO PARENT A TEENAGE GIRL
Without question,
raising high school young ladies can be a troublesome test for the best of
families, with no two teenage young ladies being something similar.
In any case, paying
little heed to their conditions or character, every one of them shares explicit
things practically speaking, ie, the hormonal and mind changes and companion
pressure.
Raising a teenage
girl demands a more understanding of her emotional vulnerability, as well as
her less logical tendency.
1. Teach
Her To Develop Emotional Strength
A girl raised in
the company of boys develops stronger and more controlled emotion than if she
was raised among other girls. This is because they live to learn how men think,
act and treat women. However, if she does not have many brothers, it is your
duty to teach her the ways of men and how to understand, interpret and check her
emotions when dealing with them.
Any girl with
flickering, uncontrolled emotions have a higher tendency to be fooled and lured by the
opposite sex.
2. Understand
The Hormonal Changes She Is Going Through
Puberty demands
some reasonable amount of hormonal changes. The hormonal and mind changes happening can
trigger a ton of passionate and social difficulties and influence her
confidence, character, and social connections.
Thus, it's no big
surprise your once exquisite young lady is currently dealing with building up
her character and communicates her feelings like never before.
Such changes can be
heavy on the negatives. They may begin to push against you or what they see as
command over them. Don’t judge them, they’re just acting out the script of
their developing hormones.
This is the place
where we step in as grown-ups. You need to show her that you are her best
emotionally supportive network and that you are consistently open for
exhortation. A mature way of parenting a teenager, isn't it?
3. Show
Them Self-Obligation
In raising
teenagers especially a teenage girl, one thing to bear in mind is that you don’t
have an exclusive right over their decisions and choices.
When you decide everything
for a child, then you are not raising a leader but a dummy that will depend on
you all through his or her life.
You have to bring
in clarity of roles and teach them how to make better decisions, and then give
them the space to make their decisions.
4. Let
Her Know How To Receive Admiration
Just as fishes can’t
live without water, women can’t live without affirmations. Your teenage
daughter has to understand how not to go overboard and be deceived by luring
affirmations and admiration. One major thing you owe her is to teach her how to get in touch with the wisdom of femininity.
TEENAGERS’ RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR PARENTS
In general, every
Teenagers should be in an easing, friendly relationship with their parents. The overall
essence is sharing a mutual trust with each other to the extent you can tell
each other virtually anything.
I have come to
discover that, parents who call themselves authoritarians and disciplinarians end
up breeding worst children.
If you want to
raise teenagers that will grow to possess many enviable personalities, and
behave in an acceptable manner in society, you have to use the gift of
communication and friendship as your number one tool. This is what it means to parent a teenager.
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