5 MOST DANGEROUS EFFECTS OF BAD PARENTING| Just One Simple Solution.

Bad parenting has wrecked many families and caused much havoc between couples. The repercussion of which is that children become maniacs whose insatiable obsession in search for fulfillment and wholeness steal the joy of the society because of their display of rascality and irresponsibility. 

In my post, " Types of ParentingStyles: SuperEasy Guide to choosing the best style" I disclosed the different types of parenting styles and the particular phase of a child's life each applies. I disputed that contrary to what is popularly believed, the authoritative parenting style is not the best but rather a combination of all the styles applied at different phases as a child grows.

In this post, I covered the following major areas of bad parenting such as;

1. Common examples of bad parenting

2.The signs of bad parenting

3. Causes of bad parenting

4. The dangerous effects of bad parenting on children and

5. Just a single simple solution that works

 WHAT IS BAD PARENTING?

Bad parenting is the use of cruel parenting styles, methods, and  techniques  and the display of improper characters, attitudes, and mentalities that threaten the sound raising of a child, which in turn affects a child's reasoning and psychology temporarily or permanently.

Bad parenting is so deteriorating because it not only hinders children’s ability to conquer the challenges of life's reality, it also impedes their self-development; make them dull, unstable, and irresponsible. 

Many parents  seek up and down finding solutions to this damaging problem but end up not finding any. 

In this article, I have outlined just a single and easy solution that works.

             Common Examples of Bad Parenting

There are many examples of bad parenting. The common ones are;

     1.    Habitually scolding a child

     2.    Cruel and constant punishments

     3.    Lack of parent-child communication

     4.    No appreciation

     5.    Being Authoritarian

     6.    Negligence 

     7.    Lack of Discipline

     8.    Lack of love and affection

     9.    Keeping Late nights

    10.   Couples fights 

    11.   Zero moral support

    12.  Over pampering 

    13.  Disrespect for children's feelings 

    14.  Nagging

    15.  High expectation from children 

       

        Signs Of Bad Parenting             

There are many signs of bad parenting.  They are not farfetched. If you notice any unusual change of character in your children, it might be because you have changed into another unusual person yourself. 

Anyone who is ready to raise children must realize that character is contagious and interdependent.  If you begin to hate a child you ones loved, that child who ones loved you, will begin to hate you as well, and when they do, the signs cannot be hidden because kids don’t pretend.

When children begin to behave in the following ways, it is a clear sign you are a bad parent;

     1.    Child’s depression

     2.    Isolation,

     3.    Restlessness in parents presence

     4.     When a child can’t wait to go back to school or holidays

     5.    Not willing to communicate

     6.    Sadness

     7.    Fear

     8.    becoming too careful

     9.    Not taking initiative

    10. Feel free only when parents are not around.

    Causes Of Bad parenting

A lot of things can lead to bad parenting, But the commonest cause of bad parenting is family background. Children who are not well raised may likely grow up into adults who would become bad parents to their own children. 

 Some other causes  are;

    1. Heartbreak: the psychological and emotional trauma that comes when someone is heartbroken can go a long way to change parents' attitudes towards their children.

    2. Divorce: When the bond that holds the family is no more, parents' attitudes can change towards their children.

    3.  Mental Instability:  Most parents who have mental derangement can treat children badly.

    4. Stress From Work: When a parent’s job description is too demanding, after a stressful day, the last thing he or she wants to take is further stress from children. 

     5.  Wrong Advice: If you are a parent who is an expert in seeking advice from friends, family, or even counselors, you will begin to become a bad parent the day you start seeking advice about parenting from the wrong people.

 6.   Marriage Battles: When married couples begin to fight and disagree on almost everything, the atmosphere of love is displaced and replaced with resentment, despise and hate which will deteriorate a child’s proper upbringing. 

 7.   A child’s Poor Resilience to Adjust:  Sometimes, stubborn children who are not willing to adjust to proper behavior may make a parent become bad.

 

How Does Bad parenting Affect Children?

Bad parenting by bad parents is undoubtedly the most harmful way children are affected. For instance, if you always scold, punish and abandon a 10 years old boy to his decisions when in fact you should be nurturing and educating him, you are applying the harsh rule of authoritarian parenting style whereas all he needs in that phase as a little boy is the nurturing feel of a caring mother and a loving father. 

The little 10 years old would grow up not making the best decisions for himself since he was not guided and taught in love and care. 

There are a lot of dangers and risks involved in raising a child this way, some of which are;

1. Drug addiction.

    When children, especially teenagers feel they are not adequately supported and cared for by especially those closest to them, they end up doing drugs or indulge in any other thing that can bring them satisfaction and  fulfillment no matter how repugnant those things

     are.  And when nothing is done quickly to avert or   assuage this, it opens up room for  more critical issues such as antisocial behaviors like fighting, killing, stealing and robbery.

2.    Antisocial Behaviors

    When children are not well raised because they are not cared for and loved, they don’t care about the society they live in and what has been tagged socially acceptable behaviors.  They don’t act to please anyone because there is no nice mom and dad to please. They would even dare to do only those things that would cause pain and shame to their parents.

3.    Aggression

    Because pain and fury fill the home under which children are raised, their hearts and minds are full of it. Such children will never take for granted even the minutest misunderstanding they have with someone. 

    Aggression can rob children of many opportunities in life. As children, they may not have access to some opportunities other children have and even as they grow into adults, poor work-place relationship,  troubled marriage and unhealthy parenting of their own children can be some of the mayhem of their aggressive lifestyle resulted from bad parenting.

4.    Poor relationships

    This is straight forward. Children who do not have a good relationship with their parents will always have a poor relationship with others.  

    Children like this who have been trained and kept in depression, isolation, anger, and sadness for years will strive to make everyone they come across feel that way too without even knowing it.  

    Such children never understand and don’t give room for change. They grow up thinking life is all about treating people cruelly because they have been treated that way in the past.

5.    Lack of drive for personal ambitions

     If you ask a little boy who’s raised with love and care, “When you grow up and have money, what will you do?” most times the response you get is “I will buy a big house and a big car for my mommy and my daddy.” And he means it. He grows from a child to an adult with such a healthy mentality, following his dreams and ambitions until he hit big and fulfill his promise.  

   What if you ask that same question to a maltreated child? Your guess is as good as mine.

    "There is no good mommy and daddy to buy cars and houses for, so I might as well live anyhow and try to just survive through life." will be his response.

 Solution To Bad Parenting

 Many parents have spent thousands of dollars on booking counseling sessions with parenting experts and psychologists in an attempt to solve their problem of bad parenting. 

Some people have received advice on what to and what not to do which even worsen matters. Sometimes the counseling session is full of unrealistic tasks. That’s not the kind of solution I am about to proffer. 

As far as I am concerned, the solution to bad parenting is within reach and doesn’t have to be sourced elsewhere but within the parents. The solution to bad parenting is handy.  It is within everyone who is a bad parent. 

If you notice, more than 90 percent of the causes of bad parenting are emotionally related. No parent naturally wants to be rude and cruel to his or her children. Whenever they do, then something is hurting their emotions. 

The only way therefore to become a good parent is to deal with whatever it is flickering your emotions.  Do you have a long stressful day at work? Deal with it, Are you angry and depressed due to what happened to you years ago? Deal with it, are you having marriage issues? Deal with it, are you suffering from heartbreak? Deal with it. 

Children should not be a part of your frustration and certainly shouldn’t bear the brunt of your childish outbursts of emotions you have failed to deal with.

 

      TAKE AWAY QUOTES

    1. Bad parenting is the greatest thief of a child’s personal growth, development, ambitions, and dreams.

    2. Dealing with your emotional issues as a parent is the primary solution to bad parenting.

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