If you don't want to face intimacy problems, heartbreaks and dissatisfaction in marriage you must first decide the type of marriage you are getting yourself into.Â
These days, people just chose a life partner out of the blues
and expect to live happily ever after. Things don’t work that way. The truth
is, the character of the person you get married to will define the kind of
marriage you are in for and as well increase or decrease the quality of your
life by 70 percent. A good reason to worry.
Finding the right person may not be easy but is the cheapest way out of heartbreak and marital/relationship frustrations.
I have put together
this piece of article that will point you in the right direction. I have
revealed 8 very dangerous types of marriages, as well as the type everyone who
desires peace and bliss must seek to get into.
  ELECTRONIC MARRIAGE
Electronic marriage
is what many people practice in this century. Needless to ask why many
marriages are failing.
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This type of
marriage involves married couples who
are also married to their phones, laptops and TV. The funny thing about it is couples are
more committed to their second partner(electronic gadgets) than they are to
each other. They are more attached to activities on social media than anything
else.
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The pitfall is,
couples rarely make out time to satisfy each other's emotional needs and
desires. They leave most of their responsibility to the maids and since they
can't seem to be attached to the kids, the kids see the maids as their true friend,
mother and confidant.
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Many years ago when
there were no electronics, couples gave each other maximum attention that
resulted in the great bond, understanding and friendship that existed between
couples then.Â
  ROBOTIC MARRIAGE
This is another
dangerous type of marriage. It can also be called fear-centered marriage.
This kind of
marriage is a controlled-centric marriage where one person decides everything
and the other must obey whether convenient or not. This is why I
call it fear-centered marriage. Even when one is in disagreement with a
decision, they don't air an opinion due to fear. There is no friendship or
informality in this type of marriage. Everything is formal or official. You
either do as I command or you get bitten or divorced.
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This type of
marriage is full of pretenses especially
when visitors are around. Only smart visitors can easily notice the fake
smiles, distanced hearts and artificial bonds between the couples.
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In this marriage,
Men are mostly the controllers, but these days, women have started controlling
as well.
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The danger of such
marriage is that a time will come when the subject will rise up to challenge
the controller which if not well managed can lead to domestic violence, death or divorce. Imagine
what the children would have to face under such circumstances.
PICTURE PERFECT MARRIAGE
As the name
implies, this marriage is only good on pictures. The last time they smiled and
looked happy together was on their wedding day captured by a camera.
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This type of
marriage is so deceptive. Friends and families, including social media acquaintances, see frequent
picture updates on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter signaling sweetness, peace,
love, friendship and great bond which are far fetched from the truth. As far as
pictures are concerned, this marriage is perfect, but in reality, it is
full of regrets, depression, anxiety, hopelessness and suicidal thoughts. They are
good actors but never happy couples.
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People involved in
this marriage, seldom invite people to their house for the fear of
exposing the truth. They give unnecessary and countless excuses just to keep
friends and families at arm's length.
DEFENSIVE MARRIAGE
This is the
marriage where couples defend each other's wrong no matter what. To an extent and if well managed, it can be good but not without its own pitfall.
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Couples in this marriage rarely see fault in whatever a partner does. If you have ever
heard a mother complaining that his son supports the wise even when it is
obvious she is wrong, then you have experienced defensive marriage.
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In this type of
marriage, relatives are not allowed to visit so to speak. However, anyone who
decides to will end up being the only wrong person in the house because no
matter what these couples do wrong, they don't see it as wrong. They blame others
for everything and never accept their own mistakes.
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The pitfall is too
detrimental. Sooner or later, the children's wrong behaviors in school or in
their social dealings with other kids will be defended. Be ready to also hire a
lawyer to defend their crimes in court if you can't teach them to know their
wrongs at home.
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Another
disadvantage is that the couples involved also extend such attitude to
themselves. Nobody corrects each other and nobody learns from each other.
They fight and quarrel but never accept defeats and faults. Issues are never
settled in this marriage because nobody is willing to accept his or her
mistakes. And because there is no learning, there is no changing. And since there is no changing, troubles persist.
 CAREER CENTERED MARRIAGE
This is the
work-at-home type of marriage. In a bid to meet work targets, you
bring your office jobs home sandwiching
them in between domestic matters and when one partner begins to complain you
hear something like, " This is what I do to put food on the table. All the
cars, clothes and expensive trips you nowÂ
enjoy come from this work"
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Providing for the family from your job is a fact that
nobody can deny. Another higher fact is
that you can't mix your official duties with your domestic responsibilities and expect peace and harmony.Â
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People who are too
career-minded hardly make love to their partner, talk more of have time for the
kids.
Other children's
parents make out time to attend school events to watch their kids performance
but not these parents.
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The shortcomings of
this marriage is that the more you give attention to your career and neglect
everyone else, the more you lose them to other people who care. You will lose
your partner to another person and you will lose your kids to another
father/mother.
 SELF-CENTERED
MARRIAGE
This sounds funny
but some people are selfish in marriage.
There are men who go shopping and buy everything they need but don't buy anything for
their wives or the kids. The only money they give to their wives is feeding
money and it is in such a way that she can't squeeze out anything to shop for
herself.
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This is not just
for men alone. Women are also very much guilty too. The only thing most women
know how to give in marriage is sex because they think that is enough love. You
hardly see a wife who spends on her man or trips him a bit. All they do is
collect and spend. Any love that cannot be proved is no love.
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Self-centered
marriage is very dangerous. It opens up a space that someone else will begin to
fill. It makes available that vacuum that only a partner should fill to others.
When care,
practical love and giving is sieved offÂ
a relationship, friendship, understanding and intimacy will miss while
regrets and sadness will emerge.
KID-CENTRIC MARRIAGE
If you are in a relationship and someone says, " I'm not getting any younger. I want to get married and have kids " you have to be careful. That is a KID-CENTRIC PERSON. People with such a mentality don’t value marital bonds, friendship, commitment, and respect. As far as marriage is concerned, they see you as a slave helping them to fulfill their selfish ambition of making babies.Â
Don’t expect
such people to treat you specially because they won’t. You only get special
treatment during pregnancy. In the case of a man, he is only treated specially
during sex.
The worst of it all
is when that baby is born, all care, love and attention are diverted to that
child and you become almost non-existent.Â
 SPOUSE-CENTRIC
MARRIAGE
This is the opposite of kid-centric marriage. Unlike the kid-centric type of marriage, couples who are spouse-centric, focus on each other and care less about others including their kids. People who behave this way can decide to take weekend getaways for days not caring what becomes of their children.
 They are not sensitive to a child’s emotional state
or instabilities and can’t tell the likes, dislikes, wants and desires of
their children. This kind of marriage involves couples who hardly provide some
other needs aside from food, shelter and school fees for the kids. They are much also less concerned about parents, relatives and friends.Â
  THE
RIGHT KIND OF MARRIAGE YOU SHOULD GET INTO
CHRIST-CENTRIC MARRIAGE
This is the only
type of marriage you should get into. This marriage is defined by Jesus Christ and
since Christ is love, this marriage is full of love, care, attention and
peace. It is a guided and guarded type
of marriage.
One interesting thing about this marriage is, it is built on God’s standard so couples are not at liberty to act as they like. This marriage does not permit divorce so couples who fear and honor God’s principles and standards will never contemplate divorce.  You never experience heartbreak or any kind of dissatisfaction in this marriage. Misunderstandings do not escalate because they are easily solved.Â
To enjoy this marriage, you must start by accepting Jesus into your life as your personal LORD and SAVIOUR and commit to obey His commandments.Â
In case you want to make Jesus the Lord of your life, make this prayer and believe it. distance is not a barrier.
PRAYER OF SALVATION
Dear father, I come to you this day. I believe you sent your son Jesus Christ to die in my place and take my sins away. I believe in His death, burial and resurrection and I ask you, Jesus, come into my life and be my Lord and savior. thank you for the new life.
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