There are not too many reasons why marriages fail or
end in divorce, though many authors believe the contrary.
Some
people say any marriage without adequate sex will end in divorce because
spouses may begin to cheat.
Some say when there is no friendship between
couples, the chances of divorce happening are high. Still, a majority of other
people accept that when couples don’t love themselves, there is bound to be a
marriage failure.
While all of these claims may be true, there is one major underlying reason; an unseen, unperceived enemy of a long-lasting marriage.
To me, there is just a single cause of marriage failure amongst Christian couples which is not external to the confines of the marriage but lives within the marriage premise. This singular cause of marriage failure is an inhuman enemy that has wrecked a lot of Christian marriages.
In this article, you will not only learn about this one cause of
marital failure. You will also learn how to avoid it and permanently put it off
your marriage forever.
Before we continue, I want to take you through an understanding of the purpose of marriage because one of the things that enforce my one reason for marital failure and divorce is a lack of understanding of the purpose of marriage.
PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE
From a scriptural perspective, it is clear that God initiated the
first marriage relationship when there was nobody else on the earth except for
the couples( Adam and Eve) and this account is recorded
in Genesis 2:21-23.
This tells me that the primary purpose of marriage is not to procreate because people can be married and decide not to have a baby. Also, it is not to help both couples fulfill destiny as one can fulfill destiny without marriage. But isn’t it strange you can't get married and decide not to have sex?
There may be many reasons for marriage, but the primary
reason is to create a platform where sex is legalized and contained and
every other thing be it help-meet, procreation and the likes follow.
Unfortunately, a misunderstanding of this fact, is what gives rise
to the number one primary cause of marital failure.
MARRIAGE FAILURE
This is an unfortunate defectiveness of marriage to the point
where the parties involved decide not to tolerate anymore but go their separate
ways.
“42-45% percent of
first marriages end
in divorce. 60% of second marriages end
in divorce. 73% of third marriages end
in divorce.”
From these statistics, we can gather that the number of marriages
that end in divorce is significantly increasing to almost an unbearable
quantity and I am certain it is due to this single cause I have revealed.
MARRIAGE FAILURE SIGNS
MARRIAGE FAILURE SIGNS
One of the simplest things to notice in any relationship is when
it is falling apart.
similarly, when a marriage relationship is about to end, the signs
are not farfetched.
Some of the signs that a marriage relationship is about to fail
are:
MARRIAGE FAILURE REASONS
There are many reasons why Christian Marriages are failing, but
there is the ONE BIG main reason.
It is no news that so many heavenly destined marriages have ended in divorce in the body of christ even amongst men of God
Some Christians face challenges that transcend their ability to
handle and sometimes the problems posed are irreparable. The aftermath
of this is emptiness, trauma, emotional wreck, and children's unhealthy
outlook in life.
Also, there is no doubt that so many things are responsible for
such marital failures.
Things like Cheating, lies, inadequate communication,
unforgiveness, financial pressure, secret sins, parenting difference,
interference from others, anger, dishonesty, are some of the things associated
with Christian Marriage crash.
To me, these are not the root cause of such a huge failure as far
as marriage in the body of Christ is concerned. Attempting to fix those
secondary causes listed above is an attempt to cure symptoms while the main
hidden problem persists and gains even better roots in no time.
I discovered that the main and primary reason for
Christian marriage failure is OVER SPIRITUALITY.
Over Spirituality has inundated every aspect of the Christian
marriage to the point it has left believers with the idea that God will
work their marriage even in areas, they should work things out by themselves.
SOLUTION TO MARRIAGE FAILURE
I would say this is my marriage failure advice to you.
The following sensitive areas are where Satan deceives Christians and has their marriages mesmerized. I, therefore, advise that as you read, learn all you can, because the words below are loaded with God's wisdom for a successful marriage.
The following sensitive areas are where Satan deceives Christians and has their marriages mesmerized. I, therefore, advise that as you read, learn all you can, because the words below are loaded with God's wisdom for a successful marriage.
Satan has used this erroneous idea to cause a lot of damages in the following areas;
1. SEX
Marriage
and sex cannot just be separated. Great sex makes up a fraction of the bond
that glues couples together. Yet this is a major issue in not just the
Christian marriage.
Too many Christians think being born again is given sex a
secondary position so they schedule sex and ignore the spontaneity that comes
with it.
This is insane. Wives mostly are the architects of this issue. What
they don't realize is, men are wired for sex. Research shows that
men are more sexually active than women and as a result, their drive for
sex far supersedes that of women.
As a Christian wife, after lifting your holy hands in
church for God, when you come back home lift your holy legs for
your husband and let him browse the promised land he paid for.
Don't over-spiritualize marriage. You can't be wiser than God who says if your spouse refuses to consent to your fasting and prayer demands, don't do it and even if he or she consented, return to your conjugal duties immediately after the fast before you are tempted.
The marriage verse or scripture below validates my point.
1 Corinthians 7
Also, husbands, stop telling your wife "I'm tired. How
many rounds of sex do you want? We have gone two already. It's time for
prayers."
Don't ever say that to a woman, instead find the best ways to add
good romance, foreplay, and create the right atmosphere that can
enhance sexual satisfaction.
You can't really say you've had sex until both spouses are mutually satisfied.
If you take great sex out of marriage, you take the life out of
it. Handling sexual matters with careless abandon is the easiest way to break
marital vows. Sex must be a commodity purchased anytime it is in
demand especially for Christian couples who have no intention of cheating.
Any attempt to give sex a secondary place in marriage is OVER
SPIRITUALITY and can cause your marriage to fail.
2. DRESSING
Let me say this, you can have all the beautiful characters in the
world and live as spiritually as possible but if you don't mix it with a
good sense of dressing, I may not divorce you because I'm a Christian, but I'll
have serious issues with you.
No one can deny that even after they are married they don't admire someone who looks really good. Spirituality has nothing to do with this. Men especially are gifted lookers.
Maybe you are a woman and you're still wondering why he doesn't
come back home on time after work, start wearing your best sexual provocative
clothes.
Men were created to stare ( ask ADAM) so until they see, the strong
man in between the legs may not rise.
Ruth was a woman who caught a mans eyes by how she dressed and
ultimately won her self a man who married and adored her.
Ruth 3
Most Christian husbands cheat on their wives with ladies who
arouse their loins but come home and pretend all is fine.
A man may not outrightly tell you how awful you look because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings, but if you are sensitive enough, you will realize they subtly pass their message.( check out the post: 5 vital things every man wants in a woman)
As a woman therefore you shouldn't wait until your husband tells you how irritating you look before you start looking good. Some men like I said will not.
They will rather start chasing after other women who entice them by what they wear. When this happens, they'll come back home treating you like some piece of garbage without really saying what the matter is.
Dress well wives. There is nothing like irresponsible or indecent
dressing within the confines of your home. Your body may not be for public
consumption but it is for your husband's consumption and can play a major role
against marriage failure.
3. FRIENDSHIP
I visited a certain family. The wife called the husband to leave
the football match and come to attend to something more important. But
outrightly, the man rebuked her. He said " what kind of nonsense
is that, don't you have respect?
This I think is the situation of many Christian marriages.
Husbands hold on to the claim that the man is the head of the home, as a
result, must be respected. They go as far as backing such a claim with
scriptures(Eph 5:22-24).
Nobody is denying this fact, but if all you demand from your wife
is respect and no place for friendship, intimacy, or jokes, you live her with
no choice but to admire another man with such beautiful attributes and the outcome may not be appealing.
The worst thing you can do to your wife is to treat her like she
is your daughter or sister whom you command around.
Friendship is one of the glues that bond marriage together. If you
can't build it for your marriage, get ready for the trauma that comes with
divorce and marriage failure.
4. FUN
4. FUN
Being too sensitive about the Christian faith is what steals joy
and fun away from the Christian marriage relationship, which ought not to
be.
You are about to drive your spouse insane if all you do is go to
church, fast, pray, and read the Bible.
We model our lives as Christians including our marriage after Jesus but what we try to tell Jesus whenever we refuse to have fun is that we don't like the way he models because Jesus had lots of fun.
Jesus attended parties, dined and wined with even unbelievers to
the point they called him a glutton. He met Zacchaeus a wealthy man and spent
the night at his place still having fun. you see? Don't be too spiritual in
marriage. It's better not to marry than to marry and live your spouse in Boredom.
Most people who cheat in a relationship is because they meet
someone who gave them the fun they never had in a long while.
Most believers are so boring in bed and don't even care if their
partner is satisfied or not. This is not right. Add fun to these things; buy
the rose flower, turn off the light bulbs, turn on the candlesticks, say sweet
things to each other, make sweet screams while making love. Don't shout like an
animal.
Fun is the excitements you add in your relationship and it must be
defined by the couples because what is fun for one may not be for
another.
As Christian couples, I suggest you go eat out sometimes, do
picnics together, go on group dates, attend a friend's birthday, dance
together, and sometimes play around like little kids. Don't get too serious as
if marriage is a military affair.
When it comes to sustaining marriage, understanding, and wisdom is
an indispensable requirement, not prayer and fasting.
Countless marriage failures have happened because Christian
couples only care about their spiritual needs and neglect their physical and
emotional needs.
5. AFFIRMATION
5. AFFIRMATION
Most Christians only know how to tell their wife "God
loves you. Where is my food? Be fast, we are late for church" and
so on. They never take time to positively affirm their wives.
Most husbands think money and all the luxury of life are what keep
ladies, make them happy, and make the marriage relationship last. But
that's not true.
A woman can be attracted by money, comfort, and good looks but in
the long run, will demand sweet affirmations and emotional satisfaction. It's
not a bad thing, that's how they were wired.
A long time ago, I dated a girl who had a rich guy, but upon all
the luxury and comfort, she enjoyed being with me because of the things I say
to her.
Words are vital means through which the contents of the heart are
expressed. Everybody enjoys being praised. As a man, imagine how you feel when a woman tells you how good you look, how much more women who were wired to
listen.
You will begin to plan for marriage failure when another man
begins to tell your wife what she wants to hear.
TAKE AWAY QUOTES
TAKE AWAY QUOTES
If you are looking for a marriage that
will fail, don't look for that which lacks love and money; look for that which
lacks understanding instead.
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