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Friday, September 4, 2020

This ONE THING is why Many MARRIAGES FAIL| Do These 5 Things Instead

There are not too many reasons why marriages fail or end in divorce, though many authors believe the contrary. 

Some people say any marriage without adequate sex will end in divorce because spouses may begin to cheat. 

Some say when there is no friendship between couples, the chances of divorce happening are high. Still, a majority of other people accept that when couples don’t love themselves, there is bound to be a marriage failure.

While all of these claims may be true, there is one major underlying reason; an unseen, unperceived enemy of a long-lasting marriage. 

To me, there is just a single cause of marriage failure amongst Christian couples which is not external to the confines of the marriage but lives within the marriage premise. This singular cause of marriage failure is an inhuman enemy that has wrecked a lot of Christian marriages.

In this article, you will not only learn about this one cause of marital failure. You will also learn how to avoid it and permanently put it off your marriage forever.

Reason for marriage failure in christian marriage

Before we continue, I want to take you through an understanding of the purpose of marriage because one of the things that enforce my one reason for marital failure and divorce is a lack of understanding of the purpose of marriage.


From a scriptural perspective, it is clear that God initiated the first marriage relationship when there was nobody else on the earth except for the couples( Adam and Eve) and this account is recorded in Genesis 2:21-23. 

This tells me that the primary purpose of marriage is not to procreate because people can be married and decide not to have a baby. Also, it is not to help both couples fulfill destiny as one can fulfill destiny without marriage. But isn’t it strange you can't get married and decide not to have sex?

There may be many reasons for marriage, but the primary reason is to create a platform where sex is legalized and contained and every other thing be it help-meet, procreation and the likes follow.

Unfortunately, a misunderstanding of this fact, is what gives rise to the number one primary cause of marital failure.


This is an unfortunate defectiveness of marriage to the point where the parties involved decide not to tolerate anymore but go their separate ways. 
 According to the United States Divorce Statistics the percentage of marriage failure produced the following data:

“42-45% percent of first marriages end in divorce. 60% of second marriages end in divorce. 73% of third marriages end in divorce.”

From these statistics, we can gather that the number of marriages that end in divorce is significantly increasing to almost an unbearable quantity and I am certain it is due to this single cause I have revealed.


One of the simplest things to notice in any relationship is when it is falling apart. 

similarly, when a marriage relationship is about to end, the signs are not farfetched.  

Some of the signs that a marriage relationship is about to fail are:
     1.   Loneliness
         2.    Continuous nagging
         3.    Lack of adequate communication
         4.    Difficulty to connect
         5.    Loss of drive for sex
         6.    Not enjoying each other’s company
         7.    Spending more time with other people
         8.    Financial worries
         9.    Enjoying another person’s company
        10. Seeing fault in everything 
        11. Incessant mood swing
        12. Lack of tolerance and unforgiveness

christian marriage failure



    There are many reasons why Christian Marriages are  failing, but there is the ONE BIG  main reason. 

    It is no news that so many heavenly destined marriages have ended in divorce in the body of christ even amongst men of God 

    Some Christians face challenges that transcend their ability to handle and sometimes the problems posed are irreparable. The aftermath of this is emptiness, trauma, emotional wreck, and children's unhealthy outlook in life.

    Also, there is no doubt that so many things are responsible for such marital failures.

    Things like Cheating, lies, inadequate communication, unforgiveness, financial pressure, secret sins, parenting difference, interference from others, anger, dishonesty, are some of the things associated with Christian Marriage crash.

    To me, these are not the root cause of such a huge failure as far as marriage in the body of Christ is concerned. Attempting to fix those secondary causes listed above is an attempt to cure symptoms while the main hidden problem persists and gains even better roots in no time.

   I discovered that the main and primary reason for Christian marriage failure is OVER SPIRITUALITY.

   Over Spirituality has inundated every aspect of the Christian marriage to the point it has left believers with the idea that God will work their marriage even in areas, they should work things out by themselves.

Christian Marriage failure


I would say this is my marriage failure advice to you.
The following sensitive areas are where Satan deceives Christians and has their marriages mesmerized. I, therefore, advise that as you read, learn all you can, because the words below are loaded with God's wisdom for a successful marriage.

Satan has used this erroneous idea to cause a lot of damages in the following areas;

  1. SEX

Marriage and sex cannot just be separated. Great sex makes up a fraction of the bond that glues couples together. Yet this is a major issue in not just the Christian marriage. 

Too many Christians think being born again is given sex a secondary position so they schedule sex and ignore the spontaneity that comes with it. 

This is insane. Wives mostly are the architects of this issue. What they don't realize is, men are wired for sex.  Research shows that men are more sexually active than women and as a result, their drive for sex far supersedes that of women. 

As a Christian wife, after lifting your holy hands in church for God, when you come back home lift your holy legs for your husband and let him browse the promised land he paid for

Don't over-spiritualize marriage. You can't be wiser than God who says if your spouse refuses to consent to your fasting and prayer demands, don't do it and even if he or  she consented, return to your conjugal duties immediately after the fast before you are tempted.

The marriage verse or scripture below validates my point.

1 Corinthians 7:5. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Also, husbands, stop telling your wife "I'm tiredHow many rounds of sex do you want? We have gone two already. It's time for prayers." 

Don't ever say that to a woman, instead find the best ways to add good romance, foreplay, and create the right atmosphere that can enhance sexual satisfaction.

 You can't really say you've had sex until both spouses are mutually satisfied. 

If you take great sex out of marriage, you take the life out of it. Handling sexual matters with careless abandon is the easiest way to break marital vows.  Sex must be a commodity purchased anytime it is in demand especially for Christian couples who have no intention of cheating.

Any attempt to give sex a secondary place in marriage is OVER SPIRITUALITY and can cause your marriage to fail. 


Let me say this, you can have all the beautiful characters in the world and live as spiritually as  possible but if you don't mix it with a good sense of dressing, I may not divorce you because I'm a Christian, but I'll have serious issues with you. 

No one can deny that even after they are married they don't admire someone who looks really good.  Spirituality has nothing to do with this. Men especially are gifted lookers.

Maybe you are a woman and you're still wondering why he doesn't come back home on time after work, start wearing your best sexual provocative clothes.

 Men were created to stare ( ask ADAM) so until they see, the strong man in between the legs may not rise.

Ruth was a woman who caught a mans eyes by how she dressed and ultimately won her self a man who married and adored her.

Ruth 3:3. Now, do as I tell you—take a bath and put on perfume and dress in your nicest clothes. Then go to the threshing floor, but don’t let Boaz sees you until he has finished eating and drinking.

Most Christian husbands cheat on their wives with ladies who arouse their loins but come home and pretend all is fine. 

A man may not outrightly tell you how awful you look because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings, but if you are sensitive enough, you will realize they subtly pass their message.( check out the post: 5 vital things every man wants in a woman)

As a woman therefore you shouldn't wait until your husband tells you how irritating you look before you start looking good. Some men like I said will not.

 They will rather start chasing after other women who entice them by what they wear. When this happens, they'll come back home treating you like some piece of garbage without really saying what the matter is.

Dress well wives. There is nothing like irresponsible or indecent dressing within the confines of your home. Your body may not be for public consumption but it is for your husband's consumption and can play a major role against marriage failure


I visited a certain family. The wife called the husband to leave the football match and come to attend to something more important. But outrightly, the man rebuked her. He said " what kind of nonsense is that, don't you have respect?

 This I think is the situation of many Christian marriages. Husbands hold on to the claim that the man is the head of the home, as a result, must be respected. They go as far as backing such a claim with scriptures(Eph 5:22-24).

christian marriage failure

 Nobody is denying this fact, but if all you demand from your wife is respect and no place for friendship, intimacy, or jokes, you live her with no choice but to admire another man with such beautiful attributes and the outcome may not be appealing. 

The worst thing you can do to your wife is to treat her like she is your daughter or sister whom you command around.

Friendship is one of the glues that bond marriage together. If you can't build it for your marriage, get ready for the trauma that comes with divorce and marriage failure. 

  4. FUN

Being too sensitive about the Christian faith is what steals joy and fun away from the Christian marriage relationship, which ought not to be. 

You are about to drive your spouse insane if all you do is go to church, fast, pray, and read the Bible. 

We model our lives as Christians including our marriage after Jesus but what we try to tell Jesus whenever we refuse to have fun is that we don't like the way he models because Jesus had lots of fun.

Jesus attended parties, dined and wined with even unbelievers to the point they called him a glutton. He met Zacchaeus a wealthy man and spent the night at his place still having fun. you see? Don't be too spiritual in marriage. It's better not to marry than to marry and live your spouse in Boredom.

Most people who cheat in a relationship is because they meet someone who gave them the fun they never had in a long while.

Most believers are so boring in bed and don't even care if their partner is satisfied or not. This is not right. Add fun to these things; buy the rose flower, turn off the light bulbs, turn on the candlesticks, say sweet things to each other, make sweet screams while making love. Don't shout like an animal.

Fun is the excitements you add in your relationship and it must be defined by the couples because what is fun for one may not be for another. 

As Christian couples, I suggest you go eat out sometimes, do picnics together, go on group dates, attend a friend's birthday, dance together, and sometimes play around like little kids. Don't get too serious as if marriage is a military affair. 

When it comes to sustaining marriage, understanding, and wisdom is an indispensable requirement, not prayer and fasting. 

Countless marriage failures have happened because Christian couples only care about their spiritual needs and neglect their physical and emotional needs. 


Most Christians only know how to tell their wife "God loves you. Where is my food? Be fast, we are late for church" and so on. They never take time to positively affirm their wives.

Most husbands think money and all the luxury of life are what keep ladies,  make them happy, and make the marriage relationship last. But that's not true. 

A woman can be attracted by money, comfort, and good looks but in the long run, will demand sweet affirmations and emotional satisfaction. It's not a bad thing, that's how they were wired. 

A long time ago, I dated a girl who had a rich guy, but upon all the luxury and comfort, she enjoyed being with me because of the things I say to her.

Words are vital means through which the contents of the heart are expressed. Everybody enjoys being praised. As a man, imagine how you feel when a woman tells you how good you look, how much more women who were wired to listen.

You will begin to plan for marriage failure when another man begins to tell your wife what she wants to hear.


If you are looking for a marriage that will fail, don't look for that which lacks love and money; look for that which lacks understanding instead. 


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