6 Things You Must Know Before You discipline A Child| Don’t Ruin Your Children’s Life

WHAT IS CHILD DISCIPLINE?

 Child discipline is the various strategies, actions, and processes involved in training children to obey rules by imposing punishments when they deviate.

Children's discipline is not as easy as many think. It involves a whole lot of emotions, intentions, understanding, tolerance, and patience.

When it comes to disciplining a child, careful considerations have to be taken because any slightest mistake can wreck a child’s life forever.

For instance, if you discipline a child who was right in his actions or who was falsely accused, you damage that child’s self-esteem, ego and weakens his ability to always do what is right.

Also, the child will grow with the mentality that you are cruel, unkind, unloving, and uncaring. Such an unhealthy mindset can affect a child’s relationships and social disposition in the long run.

This is why there are key things you have to consider before you discipline a child.

In this article, I have listed and elaborated on the few things to consider before disciplining a child. If you follow these few but powerful steps, it will make your kids even love you the more when you discipline them. (Yeah. You heard me right)

In my other post,  I talked about the different types of parenting styles and the 5 Most dangerous effects of bad parenting which also have a correlation with the way a child is disciplined( Check it out later).

The following are the 5 powerful things you have to do  before disciplining a child;

1. Have a Mutual Understanding With The Child.

Don't just discipline a child because you are given the privilege to be a parent. The worst thing you can do to any child is to discipline him or her without a cause. 

If there is no justice in your child discipline method, the child will grow up with the idea that the world is an unjust place, a lawless place where people act as they please.

To discipline children without first letting them know the reason for your action is the easiest way to lose your kids' love because they will hate you in everything.

 As they grow, they can go to the extreme of making your life unbearable and when they get the chance to leave home, you may never see them again.

I know of a relative whose father unjustly disciplined him when he was much younger. When he grew and left, the father didn't see him for many years and on many occasions, you'd hear him say things like “ If I have my way, I will kill my father."

It took me a lot of time to reshape his ideology and make him see life differently.

2. Act In Love When You Discipline Them.

I've seen many parents make the mistake of not acting in love when they discipline their children. Even when you let a child know the reason for the discipline, don't totally expect them to agree with you. They are just kids.

The smartest thing to do is to cuddle or pamper them when they cry or feel bad while hammering on the fact that they shouldn't commit the crime again. 

This way, they don't leave your sight feeling hated, uncared for, and resented.

Most parents rain all manner of abuse on their children while disciplining them. It is not right. 

Such act demoralizes children, make them hate you and as they begin to raise their own family, they deploy such harsh disciplinary methods as well which they pass unto their own children and the cycle continues. 

Something that started as a method of discipline has now turned to an unending generational issue.

The bible warns parents and gives many hints on the right way to discipline in the bible, one of which is in Ephesians6:4.

 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.

3. Give Room For Tolerance

This statement,  " I'm a disciplinarian. I don't tolerate nonsense " has crushed the destiny of many children.

Children can be a hard nut to crack. They will always want to do those things you ask them not to.

 If you have a list of 100 things you ask them not to do and they disobey, will you punish them a100 times?

If you cannot overlook a child's behavior most times, then don't strive to have any, or else you will end up breeding timebombs growing to explode in the future.

When you overlook and only give a stern warning, when you discipline Them another time, they'll understand, because they know they are at fault as they've been warned severally.

4. Never You Discipline Your Kids In Public

Have you ever been disciplined in public where everyone is watching? How did you feel? Do you think a child will feel different because he is a child?

 When you discipline children in public, you break their backbone. They feel inferior amongst other kids and develop low self-esteem. 

They'll become afraid of you especially in public because they do not want to be embarrassed again. 

This is particularly true when children begin to grow into teenagers. 

As a parent, it is your responsibility to understand and respect your children's' feelings and consider how your actions and attitudes toward them can affect their psychology and social behavior. 

 Disciplining a child in public can affect his or her boldness. 

I know a lot of teenagers whose social life is zero due to the way they were brought up.  They can't hold a complete conversation in public without fidgeting. 

Some of them are afraid of going for interviews when they grow because they lack the boldness to face the panels.

5. Listen to What They Have To Say

One of the best art of parenting is listening. someone says the reason we have two ears and one mouth is so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.

As a loving parent, you shouldn't discipline your children based on hearsay.  You need to hear them out first and verify the truth.

No matter the report you get about them from school or from anybody else even your wife, don't just start to discipline them based on that.

I cannot overemphasize the danger of such behavior. 

Firstly, acting such a way will end up making your children see a father and a mother figure in some total strangers who listen to them. They will always confide in, and share their problems with those who listen to them. 

Secondly, the friendship bond that was supposed to exist between you and your children now exist outside the home with those who give them listening ears.

Therefore, in disciplining a child, listening is one of the major skills that must be learned by all parents and guidance.  

6.  Don't explode On kids

There was an 11 years nephew of mine who I always scolded and exploded on at his slightest mischief. He doesn't like me around.

Whenever I come around he feels uncomfortable and will always stay indoors until I go. I hated such feelings and such an unhealthy perception of me by a little boy.

However, as I began to adjust, his love for me grew naturally.

This is exactly how your child will respond to your actions towards him or her. 

Shouting or exploding your anger on your children will make them timid and fearful and the aftermath is, they won't be able to fight and defend their rights when they are infringed upon.

Such a damaging child discipline method is not what any responsible parent should wish for his children.

TYPES OF DISCIPLINE

There are 3 main types of child's discipline. Each of which has a specific purpose.

1. Preventive Discipline

This is the type of discipline that involves engaging children in something that gives them less time to think of misbehaving. 

For instance, instead of playing around all day long, a mother can engage her children to do some house chores or read their books. By so doing, the child is focused, and every tendency to misbehave is greatly assuaged.

2. Supportive Discipline

This is the type of discipline that foresees that a child is about to misbehave and you quickly intervene to keep that child from misbehaving.

This type of discipline is very important and should be a necessity in every home. It keeps misbehavior from escalating and protect a child from unforeseen troubles.

With this type of discipline, parents can know what kind of misbehavior a child is capable of and keep them away from any kind of social misbehavior.

A smart parent who wants the best for his or her children should be able to sense a child's tendency to misbehave prevent it even before they do. 


However, the disadvantage of this type is parents' inability to mount 24/7 surveillance on children.

3. Corrective Discipline

This is the most popular type of discipline.  It is the type of discipline administered after a crime has been committed with the intention to get the child not to commit such crime next time.

 This type of discipline is not really the best even though it can not be avoided. 

It is better to sense when a child is about to misbehave and put a stop to it than to discipline a child after misbehaving. 

    Importance Of Child Discipline

 The fact that the Holy scripture admonishes that if you spare the rod, you spoil the child means that child discipline comes with a great deal of significance.

It doesn't always feel great to discipline a child due to the anger, sadness,  tension, emotions, and in extreme cases tearing that comes with it. 

But if you do it rightly, you should be happy about it and not feel bad or act emotionally.

When a child is disciplined rightly following the recommendations I gave in this article, you should be able to derive great advantages such as;

1. Proper child development

2. Stability of emotions

3. A good self-control

4. Respect and Responsibility

5. Long Life

6. Good Morals

7. Ability to make better decisions and choices

8. Respect for laws and orders

9.  Makes children focus

10. Adjustment of mentality, attitude, and actions

Take Away Quote 

1. If you want to raise stubborn children, discipline them in anger.  But if you want to raise children with high moral values discipline them in love.

2. You can make a saint or a devil out of a child by how you chose to discipline that child.

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