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Saturday, August 29, 2020

All about First Date:What To Do,Talk About,Expect,Tips, Advice & More

Going out on a first date can be so scary and frustrating since we are meeting an entirely different person who probably has some level of expectations of us. However, if adequate preparations are made, there would be no need for the fear of flunking.

 In this article, allow me to help you make preparations the easiest and best way possible in all areas including what to do, what to talk about, what to expect, tips for girls and guys, and many more.


what to talk about on a first date


 Consider this article virtually all you need to know about first date for a memorable, exciting, and fearless first date experience for adults and teenagers.



The following points are considered for this article;


       1.   What is first date?

       2.   What to expect on a first date

2.1  What guys expect

2.2  What girls expect

       3.   What to talk about on a first date

       4.   What not to talk about

       5.   What to do on a first date

5.1  What to do on a first date with a girl

5.2  What to do on a first date with a guy

       6.   First date tips

6.1  First date tips for girls

6.2  First date tips for guys

       7.   Sex on the first date

       8.   First date advice for teens



First date is the first intentional meeting initiated by two parties with an element of location and time for a predetermined purpose and full of expectations. There is no dating relationship that does not have a purpose. 


In my post “The 3 dangerous types of 21st-century dating that can ruin your life” I enumerated some of the different types of dating and the purpose for each. 


 It is very important and advisable to understand what dating really is so you’ll completely be ready for what you’re getting into and the best way to approach it.



Expectation is key on a first date. When you know what to expect from someone and what they expect from you, you can easily impress them and get them impressed about you as well.


You will almost not have a successful first date without some level of significant expectation that cuts across character, dressing, manner, intellectuality and morality just to mention a few.


Since men and women are logical and emotional respectively, they have different levels of expectations. Some of which are;





what to talk about on a first date

Some of the things a guy expects from a girl on a first date are;


  1. Dress Smart: First impression matters. Your looks determine people’s affirmation of you. You actually teach someone how to treat you by how you treat yourself. If you love yourself and want to be respected, learn to dress well and responsibly.
  2. Loosen Up: Don’t bond with the chair, bond with the moment and enjoy every bit of it. Smile, laugh, crack jokes if the need be. There is no need to be shy.
  3. Be engaging: Men don’t talk much. They expect you to do most of the talking. So be engaging and avoid non-interactive questions having just “yes” or “no” answers.
  4. Be Real:  Men are very smart. They are logical so be real. They know when you are pretending and when you are not.
  5. Good Conducts: You don’t have to greet everybody you know or break conversations at intervals just to engage with others. Also, control your appetite for food and the temptation to place a request on everything you see.
  6. Be Affirmative: I don’t believe women love to be affirmed than men. We all love it equally, so give it to men as much as you can.
  7. Show high moral values: A man may want to lure you or test your morality on various levels. If you fall, he’ll take advantage of it. If you don’t, he’ll respect you and may end up marrying you.
  8. Show dependence: You may have all the money in the world as a woman, but never you deflate the ego of a man by showing him you can foot the bills. Allow the man be in charge and show appreciation. Allow him to make most of the decisions.


These and many more are what guys expect on a first date.



As a man, don't suck in these areas. Girls expect these from you.

  1. Talk less: women are verbose, so they don’t like a competitor. Talk like a gentleman but powerfully and interestingly, not authoritatively.
  2. Be in control: Women hate weaklings. If you must woo a woman on a first date, you must be in charge. Choose a nice spot, pay the bills, show smartness, wisdom and make her feel safe with you.
  3. Dress Smartly: Most women would want to date you as often as possible because they love seeing your outfit. They would brag about you and introduce you to everyone.
  4. Affirmation: Women are generally moved by what they hear. She wants you to appreciate her looks or anything of interest about her.
  5. Be loaded: Money rocks, so it’s not bad for a woman to expect that you are financially comfortable. Man-up and make a decent earning. Ensure it’s legal though.
  6. Exceed Expectation: Women like to be wowed and to do that, you have to go the extra mile. If you have any foreknowledge about her you might want to use it to your advantage. By prior phone conversations, you might get some useful information like if she is intellectual, humorous, or playful.  Also, most people don’t give gifts on a first date, you can leverage that as well.
  7. Respect Her: Every woman is moved by love and tender care. The second thing that moves a woman is respect. Unfortunately, there are just a few men who give this.
  8. Be curious: Most women love the company of a man who truly wants to know them. So ask reasonable questions and get her talking. Check out my post 10 critical questions you should neverskip on a first date
  9. Be Real: The primary essence of dating is to have true knowledge of each other. If you pretend while on a date, you just might be hiding that part of you that someone is really interested in.



To have a memorable dating experience, you must plan. And among what to plan for are the things to talk about.


There are a wide variety of things you can discuss on your first date ranging from critical to non-critical subjects.



The mistake most people make during dating is to leave out critical discussions on the early periods of dating only to bring it up when they are emotionally involved. Now it becomes difficult to make certain critical decisions without  hurting someone's feeling.



Having critical conversations on a first date has a lot of advantages.  


Firstly, you don’t have to waste your time with people who are not thinking like you. And secondly, it speeds up your chances of meeting the right person for you.



I believe that only the unserious people, who want to take advantage of you, would not want to have more serious conversational topics with you.


Some major critical things to talk about on a first date especially if you are dating for marriage are; 

a) Religion


This is very critical. So many people have had what was once a great relationship destroyed because of religious disagreements. There are so many religions in the world; it is therefore only fair to know which your date belongs to and his mentality about his religion.

I have come to understand that one thing people are sacrosanct about and hold in high esteem is their religion. You don't want to end up with a religious fanatic whose religion contradicts yours.


When you know about your date’s religion, it helps you make better future decisions based on the standards you have set. 


In a case where both parties share entirely different religions, the least you can do is build a friendship that can benefit other areas of life such as career, education, self-development and more.


       b)  Purpose


Whether you like it or not, everybody has at least one reason for living. It is your responsibility, as a result, to find out this reason for living even on the first date.


You don’t want to end up with somebody only to discover the person is an armed robber or a prostitute.


Many responsible people have a purpose in life which they are even eager to disclose. 

If you ever dated anyone who always shies away from the question of purpose, then it is an indicator that such a person does not have a life’s blueprint and as such may likely not have any future aspirations. 

This is not the kind of person you want to waste your time with no matter how well dressed and money-loaded he or she looks. 


Also knowing someone’s purpose can help you know if it's going to align with yours in the long run.   The last thing you want to do is to end up with someone whose purpose will suffocate yours.


first date advice for teens

      c)  Career

I watched a movie about a man who told a girl he works in an oil and gas company only for the girl to discover a few weeks later he was a filling station attendant.  

When the girl questioned his actions, the man responded “filling station is in the oil and gas industry. What you didn’t ask me was the kind of job I do and my position in the company.”


You see what I mean?


A lot of people are deceived this way because they do not delve deep into matters like this. 

The reason the girl was cheaply deceived was that she didn’t have any meaningful conversation with the man over his career.



Discussing careers on a first date is very important. It makes one decide if he or she can cope under a given career condition or not. 


      d) Future ambition

A wife told her husband “But you never told me you would become a pastor someday. How can you leave a very lucrative job to become a pastor?”


It sounds like a joke, right? But such things actually happen.  


Some people only go on dates just for what they can gain today but never care about long-term ambitions. 


It is important to discuss future ambitions on a first date. It is the easiest and fastest way to tell your date you care about his or her future as well as his or her present. It also saves you from so many unwanted and  uncalled-for surprises of the future like the story of the pastor and his wife. 



Most people have ended up with people who turned out to become what they never bargained for all because they skip this meaning area of discourse. 

      e)  Personality

You may not know everything about a person on a first date but asking meaningful questions like Personality types can go a long way to help you make better judgments based on your own personality too.


Some people are Melancholic, meaning that they are well reserved and are deep thinkers. They read meaning into almost everything you say. A single word to describe them is a perfectionist.


Those with a phlegmatic personality type are strong and easy-going people. They are not emotional and can cope with any situation. They can manage even the toughest people on earth and are not moved by the way you treat them.


The sanguine type of personality involves wordy and verbose people. They talk a lot and can also be the life of the party. They are very active and have great social skills.


Finally, the choleric personality type are extroverts. They are highly ambitious and like doing things to keep themselves busy. They are goal-driven people and can be violent at times.



What do you think is your personality type? Can you tell from what you have read the personality type(s) you can cope with? 


These are some of the things you have to consider before taking your dating relationship to another level.

        f)  Background


    Do you know that one way to know if a person is genuine is

     by their interest in your background?


Your first date can be a platform to reveal how your relationship with your family is. It tells people how positive and family-oriented you are. People would want to know if there is an issue between you and your family and what the reasons are.


   Asking questions that relate to background lets your date perceive you as one who values family which is a win for you.


   One reason you should not skip this area is that  you may get to understand a person's relationship with his family whether it is healthy or not and by so doing should be able to make an informed decision based on the impression you have about the person.


first date advice

While there is a whole lot you can discuss on a first date, there are a plethora of things you should never discuss too. It is not because they are bad for discussion or are not interesting conversational topics but because discussing them too early may leave a certain impression about you.


When a date begins to have some bad  impression about you  because of some conversions you initiate, you may never have the opportunity at another date with that person. He or she will lose trust in you and label you as a negative and desperate person even if you mean no harm.



To avoid all these, some of the things you should never discuss especially if you are dating for marriage are;




  1.     Sex: Sex before marriage is sinful. It shows you lack self-control. There is no one both men and women who wouldn’t die to have a person who has temperance. Even those who lack moral values love those who have it.
  2. Money: don’t ask a guy how much he earns on a first date. That’s clear desperation.
  3.     Ex-relationships: It is the first date, avoid every discussion that has to do with your past relationships. It would mean being too open and forward.
  4. Love: Even if you’re in desperate search of true love, don’t discuss love on a first date. If someone understands your desperate need for love, he or she may take advantage of it.  Allow love to flow naturally. Check out my post howto find the right person that truly loves you
  5. Marriage: Marriage may be your end goal for dating, but don’t start with it.
  6. Parenting: You’re not even in a relationship and you’re talking about parenting. Parenting is a serious topic of discussion and should be left for later.
  7. Kids: Never ask a person on a first date how many kids he/she would love to have.



Going on a first date doesn’t have to end with having a great discussion. It might be a first date, but there are still many things you can do to make it seem like you’ve known each other for ages.


There are things a guy can do on a first date with a girl to woo her.  But these days, girls also want to impress guys which Is why any lady who wants to enjoy a first date can do these ten things with a guy as well.

Check this out. 


  1. Ask her engaging questions and get her talking
  2. Surprise her. Take her to places she’d never been
  3. Play games while conversing as well.
  4. Rehearse great jokes before the date and joke around with her
  5. Engage in a fun and simple activity with her e.g. going to the piano/music bar, dancing together
  6. Go on a long drive
  7. Go to a carnival, museum or an art gallery, or walk through a park, go to the beach or attend a concert.
  8. Tell really good and interesting stories
  9. Find a few topics to deliberate on after the more serious conversation. Talk about the things you love and find out what the other person loves as well.
  10. Eat together



In this section, I have provided first date tips in three different categories; general dating tips for both girls and guys and specific dating tips for girls and for guys.


The general tips go for both guys and girls. They both need them to woo each other.  On other hand, the specific dating tips are exclusively. 


Check them out….




  1.  Be prepared 
  2.  Have clear expectations 
  3.  Take a good rest before the day 
  4.  Dress smartly 
  5.  Be abreast with topics of discussion 
  6.  Don’t wear anything that discomforts.
  7.  Be yourself. Don’t try to pretend
  8.  Don’t go on a date feeling very hungry 
  9.  Be in control of your body language 
  10.  Brainstorm ways to add fun





  1. Be in your right frame of mind
  2. Don’t act desperately
  3. Pick a perfect and comfortable outfit
  4. Wear a great smile
  5. Drop your pride
  6. Engage in the conversation
  7. Don’t eat heavily
  8. Drink and act responsibly
  9. Give affirmations if and when necessary
  10. Conceal your emotions
  11. Don’t express your disappointment
  12. Don’t be shy
  13. Hug alone. Don’t kiss




  1. Dress smartly
  2. Be in charge
  3. Give genuine affirmations
  4. Don’t be authoritative
  5. Drink responsibly
  6. Talk less
  7. Wear a great smile
  8. Be real
  9. Be in your best state of mind
  10. Don’t express your disappointment if you are.
  11. Follow up after the date



I know of a number of people who were never giving a second date all because they gave in to sex on the first date.  I also know of people who were given a second date, third, fourth, in fact as long as they can offer sex. They ended up being disappointed because no man wants to settle with a lady who doesn’t have respect for her body or morality.


First date sex is the easiest way to break what would’ve turned into a fully-fledged relationship.


Men are very observant and logical. They think faster than women. The moment you sell in so cheaply, they'll  take advantage of it and will never take you seriously. To them, the love lasts as long as the sex lasts. 


Teenagers are a very delicate and sensitive set of people to deal with. Most parents have attempted to stop their teenage boys and girls from dating but ended up wondering why they have not really succeeded. 


You can never be successful at stopping teenagers from dating. At that age, their hormones are very active and ready for explorations, so any further attempts to stop them may end up pushing them away for the worse. However, there are smarter ways to manage a teen. One of which is the giving of great advice.


Some advice I would recommend for teens on a first date  are;


  1. Don’t let loose your emotions
  2. Control your thoughts
  3. Build friendship
  4. Avoid sex-based discussions
  5.     Avoid secret dating and practice open dating
  6. Don’t stay alone in a room all by yourselves
  7. Engage in meaningful conversations
  8. Find out how best you can help each other become better
  9. Moderate your frequency of going on a dating
  10. Don’t rush things
  11. Trust yourself 
  12. End the date if the person is a bad influence.


Understanding these first date tips for guys and girls as well as things to do and talk about on a first date is all you need to enjoy an exciting moment with a date as you go out.



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