Rules
govern our lives and help us protect ourselves from smash-ups. May I submit
that Dating rules are no exception.
Virtually everyone knows
how difficult it is to genuinely connect with someone you call a date to the
point you pop the big question, “will you marry me?”And this is because beyond
the excitement, fun, and emotions, you really want to know a person’s character
on a more serious and personal level before you make any serious life's
decision.
 |
| Dating rules |
There are 3 dangerous types
of 21st-century dating people
engage in without setting any rule and as such, have left indelible damages in
the lives of many.
To help you make an
informed decision and find great character during dating, there are a set of
rules you must follow.
These rules are to help you
towards achieving a strong healthy relationship and to stop you from entering
into any toxic or parasitic ones.
Here are my top 11 dating
rules to consider before dating anyone.
1. HAVE A WELL DEFINED OBJECTIVE
How can you go to a
destination you know nothing about unless you have a direction? How can a pilot
fly an aircraft unless he has a compass? How then can you date unless you have
an end goal in mind? Unfortunately, this is how modern people date; No
direction so no end goal.
An end goal is your clear
objective or blueprint for dating. It determines the direction you are heading
and decides who goes with you. This is the old fashion way of dating that made
marriages beautiful and exciting in those days.
If you are dating for a
relationship or marriage purpose, make it very clear to your date before you
start investing your emotion. If you don’t, you just might be getting a shocker
message sooner or later such as, “ I don’t want anything serious. I
just want us to be friends with benefits”
Be honest with your intentions
and you don’t have to be afraid if you’ll sound desperate. Anyone who runs away
from you when you make your intentions clear is not a nice person. God just
saved you from one bad guy.
There's nothing to be
gained by hiding the fact that you're ultimately looking for your one true
forever partner, but there's a lot you can lose if you don't open up. You can
lose emotional stability when the person you've been dating and grown to love
decides to keep things casual, and also, a lot of your preciously irredeemable
time can be wasted.
You may think that being
open about what you want makes you seem and sound desperate. My dear, it is not
desperation, it is called " DEFINITION" so dump that idea.
Anyone who runs away
when you're honest about your intentions is not the kind of person who would
stick around in the long run.
2. PLAN YOUR DATE YOURSELF.
In a bid
to avoid stress and responsibility, you may be tempted to allow the other
person plan the entire date, from where to meet, funs to have and things to
talk about, including what to eat.
If you
really want to go on a date that won't flunk or suck, you have to be in the
planning process. You have heard the saying, “ He who fails to plan, has already
plan to fail.”
There is
nothing wrong with indicating your special interest and likes in the glut of things
that can happen on that day. If you allow one person to plan the entire date, you
may end up going and not liking the outcome. To therefore enjoy a date, you
must have to obey this dating rule as well as other very important once
mentioned below.
3. YOU ARE AT LIBERTY TO MULTI-DATE
Of cause, you heard me right! Whether you are a Christian or not,
dating several people is not taboo. It is wisdom.
Dating doesn’t have to be a monogamous affair. You don’t because
you are dating someone you act like you are already a wife or a husband. Don’t allow anyone to monopolize you unless there is a ring on that finger.
The easiest way to get hurt is to get too attached to someone in such a way that seems like desperation. You don’t want to create such an impression.
Remember, dating is a platform that enables one to make a relationship decision that may last a lifetime, but how can you make such a decision by choice if the only egg you have in your basket is one?
Take it or leave it, due to unforeseen circumstances, it is very imperative to lay your eggs in various baskets so you can choose the best out of them all. Not all eggs are good. Some are rotten and if you eat them, they'll purge you.
4. DON’T TALK ABOUT YOUR PAST RELATIONSHIPS TOO EARLY.
If you're in for a first date,
don’t talk about this as it may seem too fast, direct, and forward. Your first
date has to be light and easy, and not too serious. If your date comes up with
this question on a first date, you can say something like, “I would rather not discuss this too early ”
But if you’ve dated for a while, then
discussing past relationships is necessary.
When dating escalates into a full-blown relationship and the people involved refuse to discuss past relationships, one party may, later on, find out about a bad past life or an information about the other person that makes him/her uncomfortable.
A date may come to discover that the other person has had a
past relationship with his closest
friend or even his father. This will lead to unexpected emotional damage and heartbreaks that would’ve otherwise been avoided earlier on, only if they had
discussed their past relationships before investing their emotions.
5. MAXIMUM of 2 HOURS DATING RULE
You can't know everything
about a date at a go. Going on a date is
not to fast track getting to know someone. What dating does, is to help you
know someone on a very surface level. You also have to know them on a more
fundamental and deep level, so stop wasting those long precious hours on dates.
In my opinion, 2 hours is well enough to catch all the fun and have a superficial knowledge of someone.
I believe that the longer you spend on a date, the more vulnerable you become, and the easier it is to misbehave through your words and actions.
Also, when you date for a longer period, you stretch
yourself away from the zone of fun, comfort, and excitement into the zone of
boredom and weariness. This is not the kind of energy you want to return home
with.
6. LET YOUR DATE DESIRE MORE OF YOU
All the single ladies or divorced women who are ready to mingle, This dating rule is for you.
Because women are emotional feelers, there is a very high tendency that they would be the first to get too attached or anticipate a more serious relationship even if they don’t say it, and this has been A ONE BIG FLOP virtually all women are guilty of.
In case you act this way, then you really need the 11 top secrets for a fulfilled single life. This will teach you how to be self-sufficient and self-dependent that you need before starting to date.
Even though the majority of
women don’t verbalize their desire to hatch a serious affair from dating, after
dating for a while, they tend to do it in subtlety, that is, through their
actions and behavior. Too soon, they
start phoning several times, sending text messages, always wanting to see the
guy, availing the guy all of their time and attention. The bad side of this is,
the man understands what you want and can take advantage of your emotional
weakness.
A man will always value a
woman with self-respect, integrity, and high moral values, not those that act
desperately.
Acting like a wife when you
are not yet one, will only ruin your chances of being one.
As a woman who desires a
man’s respect, you need to learn to put your emotions under control no matter
what you feel and behave like a repulsive magnet for a while. Allow the man to do
the talking and give the green lights.
7. DON’T TALK ABOUT YOUR
TROUBLES, TALK ABOUT YOUR STRUGGLES. CLICK TO UNMUTE
For some
reasons, people think that dating is a place where they get people to solve
their problems. Hell No. Such thought is against dating rules.
While I
am not in denial that you can actual find great help and support through dating, dating is
not primarily for that purpose so don’t go on a date spilling out all your troubles.
You can talk about your struggles instead.
Your
struggles can be something you are working really hard to achieve or a
challenge you encountered while trying to do a particular thing. This is
different from saying things like, “I really need a sponsor for my album launch”
or “I am not happy. I really need to raise money for my fees.”
Allow
your date to ask what the matter is. Even if they do, don’t be too quick to leak out all your troubles if you don't want your intentions to be misperceived.
Until you are self-reliant that you don’t desire others to compensate for your deficiency, don’t date. You will always flunk if you do.
8. DON’T HAVE SEX
Why will
people advise you to have sex with your date. Some say you are free to have sex
but don’t just do that too soon. Don’t
mind them. This is the worst mistake you’ll make as a single lady who desires to
be married.
The reason I am saying this is, there is something that seems to change about men after they make love with you. There is a kind of withdrawal, detachment, and unseriousness that envelops a man after sex and this gets even worst the more you sexually gratify them.
But when you stay
off the lane of sex, you get a man to respect you, trust you, and perceive how
responsible, reserved, and morally strong you are. These are the most important set of attributes a man wants before he puts a ring on that finger.
9. PLAN TO PAY THE BILLS TOO.
You woman! Pay the bills
too. I know what you are probably thinking; “He’s the man. He asked for the
date.”
Yes! He is the man. He asked
for the date, but do you desire to be respected? If yes, then pay the bills
once in a while. Most men would disagree but insist. There is no genuine
reason why a man should pay for the date, just as there is absolutely no
genuine reason why a woman shouldn’t.
What you can also do is split bills occasionally. There is nothing wrong with splitting bills. It just tells your date how independent of a woman you are.
With this knowledge, if he
is a man who needs a non-working housewife, he will know you are not that type
and retrace his steps.
Also, by going on a date
with your money bag, you just might save your head from shame if you end up
dating a shameless person who has no money to pay bills.
10. DON’T BE QUICK TO REACH OUT.
After the date, you are under
no obligation to reach out to your date.
The mistake most women make
is, after a few days, they expect the guy to call or text. Understand that, he is
under no obligation.
If he texts, fine, but
don’t be too quick and too anxious to reply. If you have to reply, keep things
unemotional.
While there is absolutely
nothing wrong to reach out after date, your attitude of response can mess
things up and send the wrong signal.
These are my top 10 dating rules and can be applied whether
you are just starting to date or you have been dating.
1. PLEASE BE A PART OF OUR LIFE
CHANGING MISSION.
2. TOUCH OTHER LIVES BY SHARING.
3. DON’T FORGET TO LEAVE A
COMMENT BELOW AND PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO OUR MAIL.
Thank You
No comments:
Post a Comment