8 Truth A Single Mom Wants You To Figure Out Before Dating You| A Must Guide To Make It Work

 

Great! You deserve an applaud. Such a selfless decision to resort to dating a single mom not minding what your parents, relatives, and society at large think about it. I understand; where goes the heart goes the man. It is probably one of the best and hardest decisions you have made.

 There is nothing wrong with dating a single mother who is smart, kind, strong, beautiful and responsible.

Now that you have made this decision, there is a little problem. Single moms are difficult people to convince about love and marriage following the circumstances surrounding their past relationships. They now believe that every single man on earth is fake and is out to play on their emotions.

With this in mind, your power lies in your ability to look very genuine and convincing. You need to extremely sound convincing, talk convincing, act convincing, and stare convincing. 

This can be a pretty hard job to do which is why I got you covered. To you, It is like learning how to date rightly while to her, it is like learning how to date after divorce.

1.   UNDERSTAND A SINGLE MOM’S LIMITED TIME

Dating a single mom is quite different from dating someone without any child. 

Naturally, a mother’s time is limited, and much of it goes to taking care of her children. Because of this, don’t expect a great social life from her or need her to avail you of all of her time and energy. If you push too further, you will lose her completely because she can’t place you above her child so stop contending. 

Also, Owing to her past experience, she can be an intolerable person. She knows what she wants in life and if you are not it, she won’t hesitate to throw out.

2.   MAKE YOURSELF TRUSTWORTHY.

In dating a single mother, you already know by now that she can be a very loving person. What you also need to understand is that she can be a no-nonsense-soldier as well. 

 

If there is anything that really annoys anyone who has suffered the fate of a painful past relationship, is deceit.

In dealing with a single mom, therefore, you must make yourself different and unique by being a trustworthy person. This is the easiest way to win a single mom’s heart.

3.   WIN HER THROUGH HER KIDS

You must accept the fact that her esteem lies with her kids. Don’t contend with this truth. Take advantage of it instead.

I made mention of being trustworthy as an easy means to win a single mom’s heart. Another way you can cheaply win her heart is by showing unconditional love to her kids. 

She may not really care if you buy her gifts or give her money, but as long as you do these for her kids, she is comfortable and happy, though you are not under any obligation to do so.

 1  4.   DON’T EXPECT HER TO COME OUT OF HER SHELL TOO SOON

One common challenge with dating anyone who has had an unpleasant past relationship is their inability to show feelings and reveal true emotions too soon.

It can be very frustrating dating a single mother, especially, if you are a man who loves being adorned, affirmed, loved, and cared for in a relationship. Unfortunately, she will do all these later than you expected.

I understand what it feels like being at the giving end and not getting anything in return—you are the only one who gives the care, shows the love, and makes all the sweet affirmations without any reciprocity.  This might make you wonder, “Is she really a woman. Women are supposed to be emotional?” 

needless to ask. Her femininity is still intact. She’s a woman and she is still very much emotional. She only needs a bit more time to build trust. Give her that time. 

When dating a single mom, the greatest gift you can give to her is time to trust you and your love for her kids.

5.   DON’T BE NOSEY TOO EARLY.

You may be tempted to ask about her past relationship or about her ex's Stance on the welfare of the kids. Don’t do that.

Most single women for obvious reasons don’t want to reminisce about a failed relationship, as a way to avoid depression, anger, or being emotional.

Even if she’s going through a hard time with her ex, maybe a court case, or so, don’t get involved. All you can do is support and encourage her or render assistance in any way possible without directly being involved or ourightly showing off your identity.

6. ENSURE SHE COMPLETELY HEALS BEFORE YOU GET SERIOUS.

No matter how sexy or sweet, nice and loving a single mother is, if she does not completely heal, don’t think of getting married to her. If you do, you have succeeded in having a partner who would expect you to compensate for her insufficiency and sense of inferiority which at a time would begin to wear you out.

If her pains are too heavy that she needs a counselor, encourage her to get one. 

Ensure you stick by her all through her healing process, you will be surprised at the kind of hidden bond you both would have amassed without even knowing.

       7 .   DON’T FEEL RESPONSIBLE  TO HER

Dating a single mom comes with a lot of demands especially, if she has an unsupportive ex. But in spite of that, don’t go dating her thinking you are responsible for all her needs.

What most men would do when there is a need beyond their ability to meet is to look for a way by all means even if it means borrowing just to meet that need. Don’t do that unless in an extremely necessary case.

 Don’t be afraid to let her know your inability to meet a particular need. You can  encourage her and help her adjust her needs.

    8 .   SEPARATE PITY FROM LOVE

You see her with her kids, they repeat cloths, they look hungry, and while other students are in school, they are at home because there is no money to pay school fees. Things like this can easily confuse love with pity. You have to settle this first and set your feelings aright before you cause another hurt that may affect her even more.

If you wrongly interpret your feelings while dating a single mother, you may start off on a good ground quiet alright but in the long run after she has fully trusted you and invested her emotions, you may come to realize that what you feel is actually not love but pity.

 The cruelest thing you can say to a single mother is, “I am truly sorry. I never really loved you. It has been a pity all along. I just realized”

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