TYPES OF PARENTING STYLES| Super Easy Guide To Choose The best For Your Kids

You can tell what the destiny of a child would be like by the type of parenting style you adopt. therefore, you can't afford to make any mistake when making a choice.

What is Parenting Style

Parenting style is the various strategies, plans, and principles used to raise children.

Before the advent of modern-day parenting, early society indirectly played some roles on the subject of parenting. They do this by setting customs and traditions that decide what parents can do to a child in a given situation.

In the part of Africa where I come from, there used to be a time when if a child proves too adamant, he or she is whopped in a public place in a broad daylight where everyone is watching. 

These days, however, a lot has changed following the work of Diane Baumrind in the 1960s. 

Even though not many homes understand the concept of parenting, some levels of impacts have yet been achieved since the evolution of modern parenting.

 It is rather unfortunate that many couples miss out on such a great opportunity at parenting because they get into marriage with no sense of premeditated plan on how children are going to be raised. This gives rise to many deadly parenting mistakes parents are making.

According to Baumrind, parenting styles are categorized as;

   1. Authoritarian Or Disciplinarian Parenting Style

This style involves more of discipline. It is a more controlling and demanding style. Parents who practice this style inflict unnecessary punishments on kids without clear explanations for it. These parents are less nurturing and communication is not very effective thereby living children confused as to why they are punished or scolded. 

Parents in this style expect more from their children with little or no clear guardians. This type of parenting style lacks flexibility and as a result, does not allow children to explore and maximize their full potential. 

     2. Permissive Or Indulgent Parenting Style

Parents who practice this style provide their children the liberty to do as they desire. They offer limited guidance or direction. Unlike the authoritarian style, there are little or no rules here. 

Even when there are rules, they are well explained and understood, meaning that communication is effective. 

Parents here are well nurturing and have the least expectations of their kids and do not place heavy demands on them. They only demand from children as far as they have impacted or educated them.

While this style gives children enough room to explore and make their decisions, it can be risky as well considering that they may conduct themselves in ways that are antisocial since parents are very lenient.  It also allows children to fail or struggle in something they should have succeeded in. 

Children parented this way will always have to learn by example and face the challenges that come with life.

    3. Uninvolved Parenting Style

This is the extreme level of the permissive parenting style. It is also called a neglectful parenting style. 

Parents in this case totally grant their children the liberty to control and make decisions for themselves without any impositions. They totally stay out of their way; as a result, no particular disciplinary measures are in place. 

Parents here offers little nurturing. And because there is no parental input in a child's decision making, uninvolved parents don't expect much from their children. Also, because parents are not involved, communication is limited.

This is one of the riskiest parenting styles.  It allows children to grow up with the belief that life is all about what you can do for yourself alone. They cultivate a selfish mentality and perceive life in an unhealthy way. 

    4. Authoritative Parenting Style

This is believed to be the best parenting style that has seen improved the lives of children over the years. 

In an authoritative parenting style, there are clear disciplinary rules and every reason for punishment are clearly explained here.

In this style, parents involve in frequent communication with their children to their level of understanding. 

Authoritative Parents nurture and care a lot and because they are well involved in the affairs of their kids unlike uninvolved parents, expectations and goals are high.

While this is believed to be the best of the four styles I mentioned, it is also not without its own flaws.

Children who can’t take initiative who expect direction on everything they do are the issues of authoritative parenting.  Children breed by authoritative parents do not have the liberty to exercise their mental faculties to the fullest. 

They may end up becoming slow and dependent children who want everything done for them.

While many parenting coaches recommend authoritative parenting, I do not.

Below is my take on what the best parenting style is. 

To me, a good parenting style is the  combination of the four styles but in a chronological order, with each style featured at the different phase of a child's growth and mental development.

THE BEST PARENTING STYLE

Contrary to what is popularly believed, the best parenting style is a combination of the four. The four styles have their individual strengths and weaknesses. 

At every stage of a child's growth, some of the styles have to change. There is a chronological order these styles must follow to achieve a maximum impact. Children are expected to be given certain responsibilities at different stages of their lives as they grow. It is only rational not to give university student kindergarten examinations.

The best parenting involves beginning from the more nurturing stage where children are intensively guided and directed (Authoritative style). This is because you cannot expect much from a child you didn't nurture and direct. I call this, the learning phase where children learn the values that are required to make the best decisions.

As they start getting mature and responsible, the liberty to make some of their decisions should be granted them as seen in the permissive style(Permissive style). This is the examination phase where they are expected to take on certain responsibilities and deliver well with maximum supervision.

 More so, the better they become at being responsible enough to make their decisions and decide their direction, the more task you assign to them with little interference or supervision (Authoritarian Style). This is the intermediate phase where they are Beginning to handle some level of demanding tasks for which they must be accountable.

Finally, when they become masters at making good decisions and are dependable enough to take initiatives, you must have to withdraw from interfering or meddling with their affairs (Uninvolved style). This is the professional or expert phase. In this phase, they can now take total responsibility for their actions and bear all the Brunt of their decisions.

  Take Away Quotes

 I still wonder why many intending couples discuss marriage, discuss weddings, discuss sex but never discuss the future. Children are the future of every marriage. Whatever they become or don't become will either make or mar the marriage.

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