First, let me start by saying that healthy and unhealthy relationships are realities of life. That you have experienced one of them, does not imply the other does not exist.
The question of if a relationship will be
healthy or unhealthy is predicated on whether the people involved enter into it
with the right knowledge and proper orientation.
From personal experience, I can tell that the
root cause of any abusive or unhealthy relationship is a lack of self-exposure
to the right kind of information.
In case you are in something that seems to you as the perfect type of relationship of your dreams, I can bet that you probably don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into. Relationships entail more than what you can imagine.
You may want to stick to the end so you can learn all there is to build and keep a healthy relationship with all sense of confidence.
Below are the outlines for this article.
- Healthy and unhealthy relationship signs
- What causes unhealthy relationship
- Effects of unhealthy relationship
- How to fix an unhealthy relationship
WHAT IS HEALTHY AND UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP?
Healthy Relationship
A healthy relationship is a relationship that lacks any
form emotional, physical, and psychological abuse because the partners involved
have mastered the art of relationship management by their understanding of what relationship is all about.
A healthy relationship does not in any way mean that there won’t be disagreements, personal differences, and occasional tensions. This would mean a perfect relationship. There are no perfect relationships.
It doesn’t also mean that the couple involved is immune to act
in an abusive way. It rather means that they understand each other enough not
to push anyone to act insanely.
Unhealthy Relationship
An unhealthy relationship is the direct opposite of the
healthy one. It is a toxic type of relationship where one's emotional and
physical state is constantly being abused leading to mental and psychological
derangement, isolation, depression, and even, death if care is not taken.
Dr. Myles Munroe quoted, “when the purpose of a
thing is not known, abuse is inevitable.”
The lack of knowledge of what love truly is, poor emotional management and a lack of understanding of individual differences can be some
of the underlying causes of an unhealthy relationship.
HEALTHY AND UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP SIGNS
Healthy Relationship Signs
Some of the signs
of a healthy relationship are:
- Peace of mind
- Godliness
- Constant affirmation
- Happiness
- Jokes and laughter
- Communication
- High resilience
- Understanding
- Easy forgiveness
- Tolerance
- Giving gifts
- Openness
- Mild disagreement
Unhealthy Relationship Signs
Some of the signs
of a healthy relationship are:
- Fear and anxiety
- Isolation
- Unhappiness
- Lack of peace
- Constant physical and verbal abuse
- Pretense
- Lack of affirmation
- Lack of communication
- Meanness
- Poor resilience
- Grave misunderstanding
- Grave disagreement
- Unforgiveness
- Intolerance
WHAT CAUSES UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
There are many reasons for unhealthy
relationships.
Some of the major causes are:
1. Poor
knowledge: Any successful relationship must
begin with two people who must first strive to know each other properly. For
instance, there are key things a man
wants in a woman as well as key things a woman admires in a man.
Prospective couples who eschew things like this are calling for an
unhealthy, violent relationship.
2. Over-dependence: unhealthy
relationships can arise when you are overly dependent on your partner. Exceptionally
dependent people rely on their partners to derive self-satisfaction. They are
afraid of being alone; as a result, want their partner to always be around. But
when this is not a reality, they feel insecure and begin to stress out there
partner. When the stress becomes unbearable, their partner gets violent just to
dispose of the relationship.
3. Distrust: when there is constant dishonesty, a healthy relationship can turn into a toxic relationship. Some people in a relationship always tell lies that inadvertently hurt the other person. When such hurt, disappointment, and heartbreak become intolerable, the relationship can become violent.
4. Substance
abuse: Most
people who have never been abusive to their partner get abusive when they get
intoxicated by hard drugs. They begin to exercise controlling behavior of
dictatorial and authoritative root.
5. Looking for
excuses: Most
people who are not mature enough, sometimes forcefully want out of the
relationship by not being open but implying it by how they begin to treat their
partner. Such people never open up about their need for a break-up. Instead, they begin to emotionally neglect a partner and in most
cases become physically abusive and worst of it is, they begin a new relationship and rub it on their partner’s face.
EFFECTS OF UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
Abusive, unhealthy, or toxic relationships can
have some scars or negative effects that may never go away.
Some common effects or consequences of this type
of relationship are:
1, It
Affects One's Mental Health: Your mentality
which determines how sound you are in your mind and sense of reasoning can be
shattered by a bad relationship. When this happens, you think like a mad
person. The things that used to matter to you don’t anymore.
2. It
Leads To Suicidal Attempts: Because nothing
else matters to you, you feel like taking your life.
3. It
Leads To Withdrawal: If in case you survive suicide and
begin to heal from the pain of such a bad relationship, you find it hard to enter
into another one because you are too afraid to get hurt again. Withdrawal and
isolation become your best option.
4. Transfer
Of Aggression: After a while, anyone who was hurt in a past relationship tends to transfer aggression into a new one. This is why it
is not advisable to enter into a relationship with an emotionally unstable
person until he/she finds healing first.
HOW TO FIX AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
The bedrock of every relationship is built on the wings of understanding. Understanding strives with effective communication and effective communication is born out of the willingness to listen attentively.
unfortunately, listening is one of the hardest things to do, no wonder God warns against it. He said, " be swift to listen and slow to talk." An ancient Greek philosopher asserted, " the reason we have two ears and one mouth is so that we can listen twice as much as we speak."
The primary cause of all the problems in an unhealthy relationship is a misunderstanding. That is, the man and the woman talking and interpreting what they say to each other differently from what the speaker actually means.
misunderstanding is the reason a couple who are in love are still having issues that have led to an unhealthy relationship. But if they can listen attentively to each other and decode what the person is trying to say without assumption, they can rebuild a healthy relationship.
On the other hand, when a partner is intentionally abusive and has become unreasonable, the best option is to leave the relationship.
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